Many different countries have most shops and products as the same. Some consider it a positive development, whereas others consider it negative. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Nowadays, the criteria defining a successful person
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
changed a lot in our
society
.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
history has many examples of
people
who were not famous
however
they were successful in their respective fields. In my perspective, success is defined by a
persons
Change noun form
person's
show examples
ability to perform their duties and not by the fame or the assets they possess.
Firstly
, few
people
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
might decline the fact that many
people
who are successful might not be famous. They might be at the top of their race because of their sheer tenacity.
For example
, recently I met an old man
while
I was waiting to board a bus from the Kashmir police station. He was sitting beside me when I asked him for a bus number which
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
help me to reach my destination.
This
is when our conversation started. During our conversation, I realized that the man sitting beside me
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
one of the top players in the securities trading industry. He had a turnover of around 400cr a year. Despite being successful, not many
people
know him in our country.
Besides
,
Society
knows just a handful of
people
who are famous because of the media influence.
For example
, Elon Musk and Jack
ma
Capitalize word
Ma
show examples
. These
people
are famous because they have
bought
Correct your spelling
brought
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a revolution in their respective industries by surprising the masses with their innovation.
Also
, they had the skills and ability to communicate with
society
in
such
a manner that one might
get
Verb problem
be
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completely convinced
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
their ideas. They have shown the tremendous power of effective communication to the world.
To conclude
,
people
who are successful are indeed rich in our
society
however
It may not be necessary that they are famous and
well known
Add a hyphen
well-known
show examples
around the world.
Submitted by milonimadhavani on

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task response
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both sides of the issue and providing a clear opinion. Make sure to link examples more directly to the main argument to strengthen the coherence.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented and help frame the essay effectively. Work on improving the flow between paragraphs to enhance coherence further.
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