Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

Some
people
claim that the use of
media
and two-dimensional
games
with violent behaviour in it has a devastating
effect
on
people
,
however
, other
people
refuse the detrimental
influence
of
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
games
and broadcasts. I strongly believe that observation of violent and angry actions can affect society but,
this
effect
depends on
age
Add an article
the age
show examples
of users and the way these are used.
Age
is a major factor that determines the
effect
of
media
and recreational devices. The television’s and
games
influence
on beholders is decreasing by rising
age
. To illustrate, on one hand, several studies revealed that children who watched a show with unlawful and anger, had worse behaviour than those who looked normal cartoon.
On the other hand
, youth and middle-aged
people
are not affected by the aggressiveness
that is
shown in the
games
and videos. The main reason for
this
is the stable personality of the older. The other factor that should be considered, is the way and time of applying
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
tools as entertainment. The longer time which is devoted to digital devices would cause a more detrimental
effect
on the users.
For example
, excessive use of computer
games
will cause a great decrease in concentration, more anxiety, agitation and in some severe cases; nervous breakdown and violent actions.
As a result
,
people
determine the
effect
of anger which is shown in
media
. To conclude, there is a belief that angry movies and
games
can be a bad
influence
on society, while others opine the
media
has no devastating
effect
. I believe that the
age
and way of applying the television and computer would determine
this
influence
. If
people
have no discipline for use of digital tools as entertainment, we will see a society
that is
suffering from anger.
Submitted by poorzamani_zp on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • pivotal
  • desensitize
  • catalyst
  • predisposed
  • harmless outlet
  • distinguish
  • controlled environments
  • empirical research
  • minimal or no direct correlation
  • socio-economic status
  • predisposition
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