Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

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Some
people
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claim that the use of
media
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and two-dimensional
games
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with violent behaviour in it has a devastating
effect
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on
people
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,
however
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, other
people
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refuse the detrimental
influence
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of
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
games
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and broadcasts. I strongly believe that observation of violent and angry actions can affect society but,
this
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effect
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depends on
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age
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the age
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of users and the way these are used.
Age
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is a major factor that determines the
effect
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of
media
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and recreational devices. The television’s and
games
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influence
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on beholders is decreasing by rising
age
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. To illustrate, on one hand, several studies revealed that children who watched a show with unlawful and anger, had worse behaviour than those who looked normal cartoon.
On the other hand
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, youth and middle-aged
people
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are not affected by the aggressiveness
that is
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shown in the
games
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and videos. The main reason for
this
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is the stable personality of the older. The other factor that should be considered, is the way and time of applying
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
tools as entertainment. The longer time which is devoted to digital devices would cause a more detrimental
effect
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on the users.
For example
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, excessive use of computer
games
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will cause a great decrease in concentration, more anxiety, agitation and in some severe cases; nervous breakdown and violent actions.
As a result
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,
people
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determine the
effect
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of anger which is shown in
media
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. To conclude, there is a belief that angry movies and
games
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can be a bad
influence
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on society, while others opine the
media
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has no devastating
effect
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. I believe that the
age
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and way of applying the television and computer would determine
this
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influence
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. If
people
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have no discipline for use of digital tools as entertainment, we will see a society
that is
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suffering from anger.
Submitted by poorzamani_zp on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • pivotal
  • desensitize
  • catalyst
  • predisposed
  • harmless outlet
  • distinguish
  • controlled environments
  • empirical research
  • minimal or no direct correlation
  • socio-economic status
  • predisposition
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