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Band 5.5

Some people think that having a set retirement age (say 65) for everybody regardless of occupation is unfair.They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree ? What type of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement? Give reasons for your answer.

#people #retirement #age #everybody #occupation #workers #pension #type #benefit
Retirement
 is
very
Add an article
a very
show examples
 essential part of our life because in old
age
 we are not supposed to do
countinue
Correct your spelling
continue
 our
work
 .
Thus
 , it is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
 to take
rest
Correct article usage
a rest
show examples
 and
age
 our remaining days in the world.
Eventhough
Correct your spelling
Even though
, we have
set
Correct article usage
a set
show examples
 of
age
 for
retirement
, some
people
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
 not
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that it is unethical and opinioned that particular
work
 has
need
Add an article
a need
the need
show examples
 to leave at earlier in their
age
 and it is adequate for their life.l totally agree with
this
 statement , we can discuss the kind jobs need earlier retriment and the reasons in the essay. There are some vital reasons behind why
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe certain
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of jobs need
retirement
 at their younger
age
such
 as
field
Correct your spelling
fieldwork
show examples
work
, Military service, security
work
 and
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
need
Correct pronoun usage
that need
show examples
 more physical activity.
First
 and foremost, these jobs need more physical strength and concentration
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 in
office
Add an article
the office
an office
show examples
 .
Therefore
 ,in their old
age
Add a comma
,age
show examples
 they will start to
Replace the word
lose
show examples
loose
Correct your spelling
lose
show examples
 their health and attack some other diseases
such
 as
diabetic
Replace the word
diabetes
show examples
, sugar.The ramification of
people
 at their old
age
involve
Change the form of the verb
involved
show examples
 in outside
work
 despite the hot and not taking food and medicines
in
particular
Add an article
the particular
a particular
show examples
 interval
that is
 death following
cardic
Correct your spelling
cardiac
 arrest.
Secondly
 ,
people
Change preposition
for people
show examples
 who
involved
Add a missing verb
are involved
show examples
 in military service at
their
Change the word
a
show examples
 younger
age
then
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is the best reward government can give
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
decrease
Fix the infinitive
to decrease
show examples
 their
retirement
age
 .
Hence
 , they would get to join with their family and can restore
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
all happiness and fun when they could not perform while apart from family to serve the nation.
Last
 but not least, despite the health ,
people
 who
work
 remote areas it is the best
time
retun
Correct your spelling
return
 home and
focus
Change the verb form
focuses
show examples
 on their family before getting more
age
.
Furthermore
,
people
 who
work
 in ships and
work
 in
ring
Add an article
the ring
show examples
 ,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
start to
be affect
Change the verb form
affect
show examples
 their mental condition due to
lonilenss
Correct your spelling
loneliness
 and working
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
. For
this
 reason, they required rest and mental strength .The best part is
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 can do by applying the policies of voluntary
retairement
Correct your spelling
retirement
.
Consequently
 , they can join with their family and friends would enable them to
spent
Change the form of the verb
spend
show examples
 their
time
 effectively. To conclude,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 reiterate
sixtyfive
Correct your spelling
sixty five
sixty-five
 years of
age
 is not
Correct your spelling
suitable
sutiable
Correct article usage
a sutiable
show examples
time
 to leave every job. Some
work
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 earlier
retairement
Correct your spelling
retirement
 especially
work
 which involve high physical activity.
Submitted by divyajayarajan95 on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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