"Some people believe that adults get motivated to exercise and play sports because of the major sports events on TV such as the Olympic Games and Football World Cup. Others say that there are many ways apart from TV to encourage them to exercise. Discuss both views and give your own opinion."

#people #adults #exercise #sports #events #tv #olympic #games #football #world #cup

A few people

asserts

Change the verb form

assert

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that youngsters should watch sports

programs to get

motivation

Add an article

the motivation

show examples

to participate in sports but on other

hand

Add a comma

,hand

show examples

some people believe many other activities are possible to encourage them to exercise.

This

essay will illustrate both views.

First

of all, watching sportsmen on

how they make their nation proud worldwide, encourage adults to take participate in games and make their country proud too.

For instance

, Virat Kohli an Indian cricketer inspired

from

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famous cricketer Sachin Tendulkar by watching his matches on

and wants to become like him so he started playing cricket in childhood.

Secondly

, watching sports on

gives all information about game rules. It becomes

more easy

Replace the words

easier

show examples

to learn

Correct article usage

the rule

show examples

rule

Fix the agreement mistake

rules

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and techniques of games by watching others. On the

others

Correct pronoun usage

other

show examples

hand,

instead

of television shows, physical education from schools encourage

student

Add an article

the student

a student

show examples

to participate in games.

For example

, if schools encourage students to participate in school

competition

Fix the agreement mistake

competitions

show examples

with proper training and appreciation there are more chances they will become good players in future. To summarize,

although

students can be encouraged if taught from schools

but

Remove the conjunction

apply

show examples

in my opinion watching

shows helps them to participate more with their own wish.

Submitted by harryhundal30 on Sat Oct 30 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

197 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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"Some people believe that adults get motivated to exercise and play sports because of the major sports events on TV such as the Olympic Games and Football World Cup. Others say that there are many ways apart from TV to encourage them to exercise. Discuss both views and give your own opinion."

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects. But others believe that teenagers should focus on the subject that they are good at or that they find the most interest. Discuss both sides and give more option.

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Most people agree that money cannot be happiness. Why hapiness is difficult to define? How can people achieve happiness?

some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others ,however say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion