"Some people believe that adults get motivated to exercise and play sports because of the major sports events on TV such as the Olympic Games and Football World Cup. Others say that there are many ways apart from TV to encourage them to exercise. Discuss both views and give your own opinion."

#people #adults #exercise #sports #events #tv #olympic #games #football #world #cup

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A few people

asserts

Change the verb form

assert

show examples

that youngsters should watch sports

programs to get

motivation

Add an article

the motivation

show examples

to participate in sports but on other

hand

Add a comma

,hand

show examples

some people believe many other activities are possible to encourage them to exercise.

This

essay will illustrate both views.

First

of all, watching sportsmen on

how they make their nation proud worldwide, encourage adults to take participate in games and make their country proud too.

For instance

, Virat Kohli an Indian cricketer inspired

from

Change preposition

show examples

famous cricketer Sachin Tendulkar by watching his matches on

and wants to become like him so he started playing cricket in childhood.

Secondly

, watching sports on

gives all information about game rules. It becomes

more easy

Replace the words

easier

show examples

to learn

Correct article usage

the rule

show examples

rule

Fix the agreement mistake

rules

show examples

and techniques of games by watching others. On the

others

Correct pronoun usage

other

show examples

hand,

instead

of television shows, physical education from schools encourage

student

Add an article

the student

a student

show examples

to participate in games.

For example

, if schools encourage students to participate in school

competition

Fix the agreement mistake

competitions

show examples

with proper training and appreciation there are more chances they will become good players in future. To summarize,

although

students can be encouraged if taught from schools

but

Remove the conjunction

apply

show examples

in my opinion watching

shows helps them to participate more with their own wish.

Submitted by harryhundal30 on Sat Oct 30 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

197 words

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"Some people believe that adults get motivated to exercise and play sports because of the major sports events on TV such as the Olympic Games and Football World Cup. Others say that there are many ways apart from TV to encourage them to exercise. Discuss both views and give your own opinion."

Fully explain your ideas

More and more people today are spending large amount of money on their complexions in order to look younger. Why do people want to look younger? Do you think this is a positive or negative progression?

One of the consequences of the improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

The only way to improve safety in our roads is to give stricter punishment for driving offenses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

In many countries government are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money.