IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Televised talent shows have become popular in many societies today. Are these shows a good method of finding talented people, or are they just entertainment?

#talent #societies #method #people #entertainment
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent years, program
talent
 shows attract billions of
people
 opened heated debate over whether these shows is
one
 of the most ways to find teenagers who have profound knowledge or they just entertainment. In my opinion, i believe that
ta
l
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
ent shows are able to find talented
people
 as well as forms of entertainment.
One
one
 side of a
rgu
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
ment, it cann
ot be de
Add an article
the argument
an argument
show examples
nied that
talent
 shows are a source of entertainment. In fact, resident quite en
thusiast
Fix the agreement mistake
residents
show examples
i
c abo
Add a missing verb
are quite
show examples
ut watching their idols play soccer so th
ey u
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
sually go to the café with their buddy after nerve-racking tim
e to lose the
Correct article usage
a nerve-racking
show examples
ir self in com
petition t
Correct pronoun usage
themself
themselves
show examples
o lossen up.
As a r
esult,
Correct your spelling
loosen
 they are on good terms with their companions.
In addition
, television
talent
 contest are all a
bout ra
Fix the agreement mistake
contests
show examples
nkings. The higher ratings, the more
people
 enjoy the shows.
Therefore
, all the
talent
 shows must have something entertaining to attract the viewers increasing contact the events. On the other side of the coin, I believe that broadcast program is
one
 of the most ways finding genius.
F
irstly,
Change the verb form
to find
show examples
 it is necessary that teenagers who come from everywhere should come on the shows to show off their
such
 as spe
aking
Replace the word
they're
they are
show examples
, singing, creativity and memory helping answer tough questions as well as respond quickly in multy situations. If
people
 take part in these shows, they can develop their skills and become more known.
Secondly
,
talent
 shows assisting
people
people un
Wrong verb form
assist
show examples
lock the
ir pote
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
ntial.
Wrong verb form
unlocking
show examples
 Having attempted intensely, citizens can perform and win every challenge in a competition, so they have an extremely good opportunity to start career.
As a resu
lt, th
Add an article
a career
show examples
ey are more successful than others.
For example
, the road to Olympia is
one
 of the live broadcasters with the largest number of successful candidates and studying abroad in Vietnam. In conclusion, TV
talent
 shows are a good way to look for
people
 with natural abilities.
Moreover
, they could
also
 be a really entertaining way to relax on our free time.
Change preposition
in
show examples
Submitted by Andy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: