IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many young people today know more about international pop or movie stars than about famous people in the history of their own country. Why is this? What can be done to increase young people’s interest in famous people in the history of their country?

#people #pop #movie #stars #history #country #people’s #interest
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It is true that while numerous youngsters are familiar with international celebrities, their knowledge about the historically crucial
people
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 of their nations is small. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss
a
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the
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 reason behind
this
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 situation and the way how to make them interested in historically famous
people
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. The main reason for
this
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 phenomenon is the fact that young
people
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 find historical facts boring. The major cause of
this
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 process is boredom associated with the learning of
history
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, and
moreover
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, teenagers consider historical facts as not useful. Since
from
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apply
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the beginning of
the
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apply
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school life, under the rote system of learning, students didn’t have any time to deeply think about their historical accidents and historic figure.
This
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 method of learning doesn’t allow for a deeper understanding of a subject and may result in
wrong
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a wrong
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 impression or understanding
a
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of a
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concept. On top of that, with the help of the internet and smartphone, youngsters have
an
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apply
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easy access to
ample
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an ample
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 amount of information about foreign
culture
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cultures
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,
such
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 as foreign movies and foreign songs. The research from Korean Education Center indicated that about 80% of teenagers have their own smartphone, and nine out of ten of those kids have a social media account in which they can find
bunch
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a bunch
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 of information about other
culture
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cultures
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. There are several ways to alleviate
this
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 problem. Launching new modules that inform teenagers about historically important incidents and
people
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 in a variety of ways that can arouse their interest is the possible way to create their interest
on
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in
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 their
history
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.
For example
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, educational institutes can organise tours of national museums of arts and
history
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 where they will get plenty of evidence regarding the previous conditions of the nation. To elucidate, modification in the way of teaching can help to stimulate the growth of
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history related
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history-related
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 aspects. In conclusion,
although
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 a myriad of
people
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 consider that children are keen to gather information
of
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about
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 internationally famous
people
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, and they have little interest in important
figure
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figures
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 in their
history
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,
this
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 phenomenon can be mitigated by adopting
new
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a new
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 module.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Pervasive
  • Globalized media
  • Social media platforms
  • Contemporary culture
  • Glamorous
  • Educational curriculum
  • Multimedia resources
  • National pride
  • Exhibitions
  • Engaging storytelling
  • Interactive apps
  • Historical figures
  • Narratives
  • Celebrations
  • Underemphasizing
What to do next:
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