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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. how far do you agree or disagree with the above views?

#people #guarantee #job #course #university #education #work #school #gain #world
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There is no doubt that,
since
Change preposition
for
show examples
 several centuries,
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job
Add an article
the job
a job
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 is
play
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played
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 a prominent role in human's life. The question is, is necessary to complete a high
education
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 in the
university
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 after
graduated
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graduating
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 from secondary
school
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 or it is better
to
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for to
show examples
people
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 start working and gain experience after graduation from
school
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 to guarantee a perfect
job
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? In
this
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 essay, I am going to discuss both views and draw my own conclusion. In terms of
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first
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the first
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 argument, many
people
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 argue that they have
a better
Correct the article-noun agreement
a better option
better options
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options
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 to getting a better
job
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 when they complete a course of
university
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education
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. The main reason to support
this
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 claim is that
students
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 who are educated from
university
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they
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apply
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have
a
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the
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 best knowledge than
students
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 who
are does
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do
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 not
accomplishment
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accomplish
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their
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they're
they are
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studied
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studies
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. To illustrate,
students
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 receive an
advance
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advanced
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 level of
education
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 in the
university
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, and it helps them improve their knowledge and skills.
In other words
Linking Words
,
university
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 graduates are more knowledgeable and skilled.
Hence
Linking Words
, they have
a top
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top options
a top option
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options
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 to get a better
job
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.
Also
Linking Words
,
students
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 with
a higher academic qualifications
Correct the article-noun agreement
higher academic qualifications
a higher academic qualification
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 have
a better
Correct the article-noun agreement
better options
a better option
show examples
options
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 in
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
 promotions.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
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 who want to get a prestigious
job
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 should complete their
education
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 in
university
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.
However
Linking Words
, some
people
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 believe that
gain
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gaining
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 experience after graduating from
school
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immediately
Add a missing verb
is immediately
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 more important than
complete
Wrong verb form
completing
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 a course of
university
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education
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.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, if the
students
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 do not complete their higher
education
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 in
university
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, they will have limited
options
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 for work in various types of jobs. As persons with academic qualifications get of
lower paid
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lower-paid
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. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 most
people
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 argue that it is necessary for
students
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 to work after
school
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 and gain experience. I believe that
,
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apply
show examples
students
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 must
accomplishment
Replace the word
accomplish
show examples
 their
education
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 in
university
Use synonyms
 to get diverse and better
options
Use synonyms
 for jobs in life.
Submitted by besho0h on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • theoretical knowledge
  • critical thinking skills
  • specialized expertise
  • on-the-job training
  • work experience
  • financial independence
  • career growth
  • hands-on experience
  • balanced perspective
  • internships
  • part-time work
  • academic learning
  • vocational training
  • apprenticeships
  • personal circumstances
  • financial constraints
  • career goals
  • individual aptitudes
  • well-paying careers
  • satisfying careers
  • specialized training
What to do next:
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