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Writing Samples
Band 5

The best way to understand other cultures is to work for a multinational organization. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#cultures #work #organization
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Today multinational organizations do business across the
global
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globe
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 and create employment for many
people
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. It is said that working for
such
Linking Words
 companies is the best way to understand other
cultures
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;
however
Linking Words
, I do not agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement. Undoubtedly, working for
an
Change the article
a
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 multinational company is beneficial for those who want to enhance their understanding of foreign
cultures
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.
First
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 of all, employees in
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 multicultural company have opportunities to communicate and work with
people
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 from different backgrounds, so that they will understand various customs and traditions from a different nation.
Moreover
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, given
that
Correct determiner usage
the
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 fact that multinational companies usually set their offices all around the world, their staff will have the chance to take on business trips, and travel to other cities, and even countries.
Therefore
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, it is possible for them to experience local
cultures
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 in person.
However
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, I strongly believe that there are a number of alternatives that can help one explore other
cultures
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. A good example is
international
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an international
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 tourism. Travelling overseas has become popular among the public these days. By touring in a different city or
culture
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, one are able to communicate with the locals and study local languages, which will strengthen his/ her understanding of
a
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apply
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culture
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 as well.
Furthermore
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,
to learn
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learning
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 about a different
culture
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, enjoying foreign movies and TV drama is efficient and effective too.
In other words
Linking Words
, films and TV programmes are usually produced based on a particular
culture
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. For
instant
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an instant
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, by watching American soap operas,
audience
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the audience
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are
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is
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 exposed to
daily
Correct article usage
the daily
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 lives and conversations of American
people
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;
hence
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, they can understand how
people
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 in the USA greet and interact with friends. In conclusion, though multinational companies offer
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 employees
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
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 of
exposing
Wrong verb form
exposed
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 to
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
Use synonyms
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
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, it is not necessarily the best way. One who
want
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wants
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 exposure to foreign
cultures
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 can
also
Linking Words
 attain
this
Linking Words
 goal by travelling
aboard
Correct your spelling
abroad
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 and watching TV shows and films made in other counties and cities.
Submitted by chanoneecyy on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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