IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The best way to understand other cultures is to work for a multinational organization. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#cultures #work #organization
Today multinational organizations do business across the
global
Replace the word
globe
show examples
 and create employment for many
people
. It is said that working for
such
 companies is the best way to understand other
cultures
;
however
, I do not agree with
this
 statement. Undoubtedly, working for
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 multinational company is beneficial for those who want to enhance their understanding of foreign
cultures
.
First
 of all, employees in
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 multicultural company have opportunities to communicate and work with
people
 from different backgrounds, so that they will understand various customs and traditions from a different nation.
Moreover
, given
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 fact that multinational companies usually set their offices all around the world, their staff will have the chance to take on business trips, and travel to other cities, and even countries.
Therefore
, it is possible for them to experience local
cultures
 in person.
However
, I strongly believe that there are a number of alternatives that can help one explore other
cultures
. A good example is
international
Change the article
an international
show examples
 tourism. Travelling overseas has become popular among the public these days. By touring in a different city or
culture
, one are able to communicate with the locals and study local languages, which will strengthen his/ her understanding of
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
culture
 as well.
Furthermore
,
to learn
Change the verb form
learning
show examples
 about a different
culture
, enjoying foreign movies and TV drama is efficient and effective too.
In other words
, films and TV programmes are usually produced based on a particular
culture
. For
instant
Add an article
an instant
show examples
, by watching American soap operas,
audience
Add an article
the audience
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 exposed to
daily
Correct article usage
the daily
show examples
 lives and conversations of American
people
;
hence
, they can understand how
people
 in the USA greet and interact with friends. In conclusion, though multinational companies offer
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 employees
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
 of
exposing
Wrong verb form
exposed
show examples
 to
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
, it is not necessarily the best way. One who
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
 exposure to foreign
cultures
 can
also
 attain
this
 goal by travelling
aboard
Correct your spelling
abroad
show examples
 and watching TV shows and films made in other counties and cities.
Submitted by chanoneecyy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: