IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You have heard that the local authority is planning to build a shopping mall in the centre of your town. You do not agree with this decision because there are already a lot of shops. Write a letter to the planning department. In your letter -say why you are writing -give reasons for your objections -explain what you think would be a better alternative

#authority #mall #centre #town #decision #shops #department #-say #-give #objections #-explain #alternative
Dear Sir, I am writing to you regarding your plan to create a new
shopping-hub
Correct your spelling
shopping hub
show examples
 in the
city
centre
, which I oppose due to plenty of
outlets
 are already operating for the locals in
this
 area. The main purpose of my writing is to make you aware
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the competition of the local
outlets
 in the
city
centre
 that shopkeepers are facing and their hardship. About my issue, as the
city
centre
 is already crowded with numerous types of
outlets
 around.
As a result
, many owners are planning to close down due to the high competition from rivals’ low-price
offering
Fix the agreement mistake
offerings
show examples
;
therefore
, establishing up-market
outlets
 will snatch market share from local
outlets
.
Consequently
, I am planning to protest against
this
 development in the
city
centre
.
Alternative
Add an article
An alternative
The alternative
show examples
 proposal, we face regular customers from the outskirt of the
city
, who share their experience about finding quality stuff in their residential areas;
consequently
, my proposal would be to create a mall in the old-
harlow
Change the capitalization
Harlow
show examples
 town for these people, which will surely provide benefits for shop-owners and customers. I am awaiting your response;
otherwise
, we will visit the parliament member if necessary. Yours faithfully, Ryan Smith
Submitted by toriqul1976 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: