Which would you choose: a high-paying job with long hours that would give you a little time with family and friends or a lower-paying job with shorter hours that would give you more time with family and friends? Explain your choice, using specific reasons and details.

#job #hours #time #friends #choice

Teaching is very much important for

development

Add an article

the development

show examples

Correct article usage

a Child

show examples

Child

Fix the agreement mistake

Children

show examples

. Nowadays, some people believe that

children

should be taught at home while others do not agree with the statement as they think

school

also

a necessity. In my opinion, it is important to go to

school

because education grasped from

school

have higher chances to

last

long.

Firstly

Children

taught at home would lack some opportunities to evolve. They would circulate in the boundaries and never try

Change preposition

apply

show examples

to do new things.

For instance

, If a

child

is playing a physical activity task and does not know what to do

further

, they would ask their tutor rather

then

Correct your spelling

than

show examples

comparing to others and rectifying out and trying again.

This

would not be the case if a

child

was

a the

Choose an article

the

show examples

school

Secondly

Child

Fix the agreement mistake

children

show examples

would learn to interact and would be more active in

school

. New

activites

Correct your spelling

activities

to boost physical as well as mental

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

show examples

are carried by

school

Add an article

the school

a school

show examples

which

also

consist of teaming up with another student and finishing the task.

For example

, Giant Puzzle solving can boost up

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

both skills and

also

teaming up with a student would create a self-learning of how to socialize.

Hence

, teaching is important but going to

school

and getting

education

Correct article usage

an education

show examples

plays a crucial role. To Conclude, Many believe that

child

's development is best when

children

Change the verb form

are

show examples

taught at home but, I strongly disagree

Change preposition

with

show examples

this

statement as it is important to go to

school

where they can learn new things and with the help of

latest

Correct article usage

the latest

show examples

curriculum

children

get updated knowledge.

Submitted by jainishshah0124 on Tue Nov 09 2021

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

258 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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