IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem?

#production #consumer #goods #results #damage #environment
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It is true that the rapid growth in
manufacturing
Correct article usage
the manufacturing
show examples
 of goods is causing serious damage
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 our
environment
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the factors causing
this
Linking Words
 issue followed by solutions to tackle it. There are several reasons contributing to
this
Linking Words
 problem.
First
Linking Words
, the lack of regulation
assciated
Correct your spelling
associated
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the quality of air
emited
Correct your spelling
emitted
 from chimnies and waste mixed into natural rivers allow factories to generate greenhouse gas and industrial pollutant to the
environment
Use synonyms
,
as a
Linking Words
result
Add the comma(s)
,result
show examples
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
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 the temperature and
eliminate
Wrong verb form
eliminating
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 both marine and terrestrial species. Meanwhile, the production of goods is most dependent on nonrenewable power. In fact, oil and fossil fuels are imperative in maintaining the energy of vehicles to run and machines to operate, though release a huge amount of
pollutant
Fix the agreement mistake
pollutants
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, causing catastrophic natural disasters
such
Linking Words
 as
flood
Fix the agreement mistake
floods
show examples
 and
tornado
Fix the agreement mistake
tornadoes
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. To alleviate
this
Linking Words
 issue, the government should impose stringent laws to assess each factory's infection level of emission and take sanctions
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 companies that damage the
environment
Use synonyms
. A large amount of fine or even imprisonment can serve as
deterrent
Add an article
a deterrent
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 to prevent pollution. At the same time, the government can practice renewable resources that are clean and healthy for nature,
such
Linking Words
 as wind power and solar power to replace the traditional eco-unfriendly resources. As discussed above, industrialization
is adversely impact
Change the verb form
is adversely impacted
is adversely impacting
show examples
 our
environment
Use synonyms
 because of the absence of regulation and technology, but we can address
this
Linking Words
 difficulty by enforcing appropriate methods.
Submitted by lslethan on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • production
  • consumer goods
  • natural environment
  • damage
  • causes
  • overconsumption
  • demand
  • environmental regulations
  • enforcement
  • natural resources
  • industrial pollution
  • waste
  • inadequate
  • waste management practices
  • public awareness
  • education
  • sustainable alternatives
  • stricter environmental laws
  • recycling
  • responsible consumption
  • clean technologies
  • renewable energy
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