IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source Australia and France in 1980 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source Australia and France in 1980 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #units #electricity #production #fuel #source #australia #france #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The pie charts illustrate how many
units
 of
electricity
 were produced/generated/manufactured from different kinds of fuel sources in two different countries in 1980 and 2000.
Although
 the total energy manufacturing has increased over the two decades in terms of
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 countries, the main reservoir in order to generate
electricity
 was coal for Australia in both years
while
 France utilized more nuclear power in
electricity
production
 in 2000. Looking at the first graph in more detail, there were considerably more
units
 of
electricity
 generated in Australia in 2000 than in 1980, which amounted to 170
units
. The majority of
electricity
production
 was derived from coal in both years. Meanwhile, oil was the least preferred power source
totalled
Wrong verb form
totalling
show examples
 10 out of 100
units
 and there was an equivalent unit of
electricity
 supplied from hydropower and natural gas. After 20 years, coal, the largest source, dramatically increased to 130
units
 in 2000.
Moreover
, the
electricity
 city generated by hydropower increased almost twofold
stood
Wrong verb form
standing
show examples
 at 36.
On the other hand
, dependency on natural gas and oil in the
production
 of
electricity
 was fallen to 2%. Turning now to France, In 1980, fifty per cent of
electricity
production
 was met from coal and natural gas, and measured as 25
units
 for each out of 90
units
.
While
 the
second
-highest
electricity
 generation was provided
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 oil, the least
electricity
 generation was from hydropower. It should be emphasized that ,unlike Australia, nuclear energy was used in
electricity
 generation and 15
units
 of
electricity
 were provided from
this
 source in 1980. In 2000, the
units
 of
electricity
production
 increased by 80
units
.
Electricity
production
 from nuclear energy has overwhelmingly increased more than eight times and reached 126 out of 170
units
,
whereas
electricity
production
 which met from coal remained stable. A slight increase was observed in oil-based
electricity
production
 and a tremendous decrease can be seen
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 natural gas-based
electricity
production
 in 2020 in France.
Submitted by nazliseydakorkmaz on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words units, electricity, production with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "provided" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 6 times.
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