IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts subjects (e.g literatures), boys tend to choose science subjects (e.g physics). Why do you think this is so? Should this tendency be changed? Do you agree or disagree?

#schools #universities #girls #arts #subjects #e #g #literatures #boys #science #physics #tendency
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Many academic institutions prefer to accept
women
Use synonyms
 into
art
Correct article usage
the art
show examples
stream
Use synonyms
 and men
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
science
Correct article usage
the science
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stream
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is due to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
peer pressure and social malpractice . I stand against
this
Linking Words
 method because of the inequality based on sex and the adverse repercussion of
this
Linking Words
 incorrect portrayal of both these genders. The main reason for female scholars
are
Wrong verb form
being
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 restricted to certain education
Use synonyms
stream
Fix the agreement mistake
streams
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 is , because e of the social stigma on
women
Use synonyms
 , as weaker subjects. Society has labelled
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 with multiple commitments on
household
Add an article
the household
a household
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 .
Hence
Linking Words
 , a potential career would disrupt society’s expectation
on
Change preposition
of
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 being a typical housewife .
Therefore
Linking Words
 , ladies are compelled to follow less fortunate jobs with
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of improvement .
In addition
Linking Words
 , some religions
also
Linking Words
 have strict guidelines on ladies qualifications.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , masculinity is seen in general as a strong group , which can handle complex tasks .
Also
Linking Words
 , many cultures origin from
Add a hyphen
male-dominant
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male
Add an article
the male
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 dominant
background
Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
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.
As a result
Linking Words
 , men have more freedom in
selection
Add an article
the selection
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 of their future prospects than
women
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. At the same time , they tend to follow professions , which has more scope and
self esteem
Add a hyphen
self-esteem
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.
This
Linking Words
 misunderstanding
on
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of
show examples
women
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 inferiority should be abolished. Mainly , considering
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the capacity and talent womanhood has shown the world .
For example
Linking Words
 . Angela Markel , who
lead
Change the form of the verb
led
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 Germany during the worst economic crisis is a bold female figure. She is a
real life
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real-life
show examples
 example that
women
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also
Linking Words
 are capable of handling crucial tasks better than men. To add
further
Linking Words
 , gender discrimination is
widely
Correct article usage
a widely
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 debated topic which is referred to be spoiling
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unity . Most of the developed countries emphasize equality for all genders .
This
Linking Words
 will create an
open minded
Add a hyphen
open-minded
show examples
 society with greater sustainability in economy and culture. Conclusively , students from both these genders should follow their aspired education
stream
Use synonyms
 and they should not undergo any pressure from the community .
This
Linking Words
 will be a greater benefit for human civilization
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender roles
  • stereotypes
  • unconsciously
  • proficiency
  • bias
  • segmentation
  • perceived
  • prevalent
  • encourage
  • influence
  • role models
  • early education
  • traditional norms
  • societal expectations
  • tendency
What to do next:
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