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Band 5.5

When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#job #salary #consideration
Today, students take into account the income more than their capability before deciding on their future
job
. My opinion on the matter is that
this
 tendency may cause
people
 to have irreversible and adverse consequences
such
 as a sense of frustration and lifelong regret in the future, yet choosing a high-income
job
 may
also
 provide a large amount of wealth and comfort in case of
success
. Under contemporary life conditions, the majority of
people
 attempt to be wealthy
people
instead
 of being happy in the future. From some perspectives,
this
 approach might be reasonable, whereas every individual is not capable of performing every kind of
job
 and
people
 cannot specialize in a field that they do not have the adequate ability. We can see
this
 when a person who has the ability
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 paint try to be a mechanical engineer.
As a result
 of
this
,
people
 will have to live the captivity of a life in which they are not successful or even happy.
Moreover
, I am certain that they will
also
 regret knowing they had a chance to do something they could be successful at and deliberately rejecting it.
On the other hand
, I have witnessed some incidents that a number of
people
 who had chosen a high-income
job
 arbitrarily regardless of their capability and achieved amazing
success
.
Thus
, I doubt
this
 opinion in
such
 a case. To illustrate, multitasking
people
 have more chance to prefer o
job
 that they can
be accomplish
Change the verb form
be accomplished
show examples
 than those who do not have various talents. If someone has literacy skills and mathematical intelligence at the same time, more often than not they are not conflicted by possibilities and achieve
success
. Apart from that, sometimes only working hard carries
people
 to
success
 alone.
For instance
, if factory employees maintain to work at the same factory for a long time period, they can be assigned the executive position one day and achieve economic comfort.
However
,
this
 takes a very long time. In conclusion, choosing a
job
 solely on the basis of the amount of income may not lead to negative
consequence
Fix the agreement mistake
consequences
show examples
 for a number of
people
,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 the majority of
people
 is not as
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
as lucky. From my point of view,
this
 is analogous to playing gamble on life and I think it is not necessary.
People
 should focus on working in areas where they have interests and skills.
Submitted by meliike.bekcii on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consideration
  • sole factor
  • financial stability
  • security
  • motivating factor
  • dissatisfaction
  • demotivation
  • job satisfaction
  • overall well-being
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • flexible working hours
  • vacations
  • career growth opportunities
  • skill development
  • advancement
  • determining factor
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