IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

With the increasing demand for energy sources of oil and gas, people should look for sources of oil and gas in remote and untouched natural places. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages of damaging such areas？

#demand #energy #sources #oil #gas #people #places #areas？
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Nowadays people
Add a missing verb
are concern
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concern
Wrong verb form
concerned
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 about an increase
of
Change preposition
in
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 the amount of
oil
 and
gas
 that are used because of
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 number of population. Some people think that finding new
sources
 of
oil
 and
gas
 in restricted sites, whereas
this
 behaviour is too selfish. In
this
 essay, I will discuss
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
show examples
 and negative effects and explain why the demerits offset merits. Clearly, there are numerous reasons about damaging areas is advantageous.
Firstly
, the behaviour is for everyone. The
public
Add a hyphen
public-use
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use
Change the verb form
uses
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 the quantity of
oil
 and
gas
 geometrically and it might be difficult to bear forever.
Therefore
, it needs to look for resources and obtain
oil
 and
gas
 for the future.
Moreover
, recently the price of
oi
Correct your spelling
oil
show examples
 is increasing all over the world. If countries develop several sites and gain enough amount of
oil
, the cost for limited resources will decrease notably.
Nevertheless
, I contend that looking for
sources
 of
oil
 and
gas
 affects
negative
Change the adjective
negatively
show examples
 for the world.
First
 of all, wild fauna and flora can be
hurted
Correct your spelling
hurt
show examples
 during
oil
 drilling.
The society
Correct article usage
Society
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 already affects the environment disadvantageous but if people try to gain
oil
 and
gas
 more and more, it can harm the ecology.
Furthermore
, the government encourage to
develop
Replace the word
development
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natural
Change preposition
of natural
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gas
, wind force, solar force and so on. Using natural
sources
such
 as them, the public
live
Change the verb form
lives
show examples
 naturally and try to prevent the circumstance of global warming. In conclusion,
although
 it is easy to look for sites because the amount of
oil
 and
gas
 that be used in life is declining, we need to search
new
Change preposition
for new
show examples
sources
 and use them rather than
oil
 drilling.
Submitted by hongpepe124 on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • energy sources
  • industrial growth and development
  • economic benefits
  • job creation
  • revenues
  • technological advancements
  • extraction process
  • biodiversity
  • natural habitats
  • indigenous communities
  • displacement
  • traditional way of life
  • environmental disasters
  • oil spills
  • long-lasting effects
  • widespread effects
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