IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

With the increasing demand for energy sources of oil and gas, people should look for sources of oil and gas in remote and untouched natural places. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages of damaging such areas？

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays people
Add a missing verb
are concern
show examples
concern
Wrong verb form
concerned
show examples
 about an increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the amount of
oil
Use synonyms
 and
gas
Use synonyms
 that are used because of
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 number of population. Some people think that finding new
sources
Use synonyms
 of
oil
Use synonyms
 and
gas
Use synonyms
 in restricted sites, whereas
this
Linking Words
 behaviour is too selfish. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
show examples
 and negative effects and explain why the demerits offset merits. Clearly, there are numerous reasons about damaging areas is advantageous.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the behaviour is for everyone. The
public
Add a hyphen
public-use
show examples
use
Change the verb form
uses
show examples
 the quantity of
oil
Use synonyms
 and
gas
Use synonyms
 geometrically and it might be difficult to bear forever.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it needs to look for resources and obtain
oil
Use synonyms
 and
gas
Use synonyms
 for the future.
Moreover
Linking Words
, recently the price of
oi
Correct your spelling
oil
show examples
 is increasing all over the world. If countries develop several sites and gain enough amount of
oil
Use synonyms
, the cost for limited resources will decrease notably.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, I contend that looking for
sources
Use synonyms
 of
oil
Use synonyms
 and
gas
Use synonyms
 affects
negative
Change the adjective
negatively
show examples
 for the world.
First
Linking Words
 of all, wild fauna and flora can be
hurted
Correct your spelling
hurt
show examples
 during
oil
Use synonyms
 drilling.
The society
Correct article usage
Society
show examples
 already affects the environment disadvantageous but if people try to gain
oil
Use synonyms
 and
gas
Use synonyms
 more and more, it can harm the ecology.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the government encourage to
develop
Replace the word
development
show examples
natural
Change preposition
of natural
show examples
gas
Use synonyms
, wind force, solar force and so on. Using natural
sources
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as them, the public
live
Change the verb form
lives
show examples
 naturally and try to prevent the circumstance of global warming. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 it is easy to look for sites because the amount of
oil
Use synonyms
 and
gas
Use synonyms
 that be used in life is declining, we need to search
new
Change preposition
for new
show examples
sources
Use synonyms
 and use them rather than
oil
Use synonyms
 drilling.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • energy sources
  • industrial growth and development
  • economic benefits
  • job creation
  • revenues
  • technological advancements
  • extraction process
  • biodiversity
  • natural habitats
  • indigenous communities
  • displacement
  • traditional way of life
  • environmental disasters
  • oil spills
  • long-lasting effects
  • widespread effects
What to do next:
Look at other essays: