Parents should encourage children to spend less time on studying and more time on doing physical activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#parents #children #time #activities

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In my opinion, studying and participating in physical workouts have the same importance to the development of

children

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

, parents should try to balance the a

mount

Change the quantifier

number

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of time

children

Use synonyms

spend f

Change preposition

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both these types of activities. On the one hand, it is important for a

Correct the article-noun agreement

children

a child

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children

Use synonyms

to be well-educated. S

pend

Wrong verb form

Spending

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time studying can help

children

Use synonyms

to train their ability in logical thinking and hard-working. These skills n

Add a missing verb

have not

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only shown i

Correct pronoun usage

their

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value to increase the productivity of the students at school,

Remove the comma

apply

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but

also

Linking Words

very b

enefitial

Correct your spelling

beneficial

for their life after graduation. It can be argued that these skills provide more jobs opportunities, career progression, better salaries, and

therefore

Linking Words

improve the quality of life for students who have them.

Moreover

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, it is

also

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crucial to ensure our

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human generation have enough knowledge to continue t

he h

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

umanity’s development. They are the future world leaders, so giving them a better education can result in the latter new inventions, economic growth or greater future prosperity.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, physical workouts

also

Linking Words

play an important role in the life of a child. Doing regular body exercises is b

elieve

Wrong verb form

believed

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to be b

enefitial

Correct your spelling

beneficial

for t

Correct article usage

apply

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children

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’s health, especially for the immune system,

thus

Linking Words

elp

Wrong verb form

helping

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to reduce the risk of

children

Use synonyms

uffer

Change the verb form

suffers

show examples

from m

any

Correct your spelling

any

show examples

ind

Change to a plural noun

kinds

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of diseases

such

Linking Words

as obesity or n

ear-sighted.

Replace the word

near-sightedness

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Physical activities

also

Linking Words

force youngsters m

ake

Add the particle

to make

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contact with the nearby society, m

ake

Wrong verb form

making

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them more s

ocialize

Replace the word

social

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and out-going. B

eside,

Replace the word

Besides

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playing sports is

also

Linking Words

effective in reducing the stress and anxiousness for

children

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, which i

s often occur

Change the verb form

often occur

show examples

to students recently In conclusion, physical activities and study are both necessary for

children

Use synonyms

Remove the comma

apply

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and should receive equally concern from parents

Submitted by Andy on Sun Nov 14 2021

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Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

270 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Physical activity
Development
Concentration
Obesity
Burnout
Sedentary lifestyle
Healthy lifestyle
Intellectual development
Structured activities
Teamwork
Leadership
Sedentary behavior
Tech addiction
Role models
Family bonds

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Parents should encourage children to spend less time on studying and more time on doing physical activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that it’s important to have friends who have the same opinions as them, while others think it’s good to have friends who sometimes disagree with them. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that schools should invest money in the best equipment for their students. Others say it is better to invest money in hiring good teachers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Mast people agree that money cannot bring happiness. Why is happiness is difficult to define? How can people achieve happiness.

These dats people are using the internet for shopping, work and to communicate with others without the need for face to face meetings. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?