IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

People hobbies and interests change over time and are more a reflection of trends and fashions than an indication of what individuals really want to do in their spare time. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer. You should use your own ideas, knowledge, and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

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A number of individuals utilise their
leisure
Use synonyms
 period as other members of the
society
Use synonyms
 do, which
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 changed as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 passes by.
This
Linking Words
 essay strongly agrees with
this
Linking Words
 statement as it will discuss
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
digitisation
Use synonyms
 and the economic
effects
Use synonyms
impact
Use synonyms
 on various timelines. To initiate with,
digitisation
Use synonyms
 is one of the vital factors that
Use synonyms
effects
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
how
Correct article usage
a persons
show examples
persons
Change the noun form
person
show examples
leisure
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 are utilised. Societies have changed significantly all over the
world
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 three decades when the
men
Use synonyms
 used to idle
time
Use synonyms
 for gardening and the
women
Use synonyms
 were busy with numerous types of
Use synonyms
craft
Fix the agreement mistake
crafts
show examples
 building on clothes and other components, whereas now
men
Use synonyms
 are spending
time
Use synonyms
 with
computer
Use synonyms
 games, which is learnt from the
influence
Use synonyms
 of the
society
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 are spending
time
Use synonyms
 with the gardening culture. In Bangladesh,
for instance
Linking Words
, the
Computer
Use synonyms
 journal published a report, which indicates an increase of 80%
men
Use synonyms
professionals
Use synonyms
, who can afford a computing
PlayStation
Use synonyms
,
switch
Change the verb form
switches
show examples
 their
leisure
Use synonyms
activities
Use synonyms
 due to the
influence
Use synonyms
 of their
colleagues
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 10 years, which is influenced by their
colleagues
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
digitisation
Use synonyms
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
serious
Add an article
a serious
show examples
impact
Use synonyms
 on
leisure
Use synonyms
activities
Use synonyms
 as they copy their
colleagues
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, economic
effects
Use synonyms
 had played a part on the globe while changing
leisure
Use synonyms
activities
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
. As the developed countries
high income
Add a hyphen
high-income
show examples
holders have only switched their
leisure
Use synonyms
activities
Use synonyms
cause
Use synonyms
 of affordability;
nevertheless
Linking Words
, technology will not be economical unless it is utilised, which can be followed from the trend of the mature economy.
For example
Linking Words
, In The United States of America over 90% of male
professionals
Use synonyms
 are playing
PlayStation
Use synonyms
 in their spare
time
Use synonyms
, according to the source of the daily mail as the
price
Use synonyms
 is
affordable
Add an article
the affordable
an affordable
show examples
cause
Use synonyms
 of high demands. To conclude,
digitisation
Use synonyms
 is changing
society
Use synonyms
’s
leisure
Use synonyms
 activity all over the
world
Use synonyms
 from traditional
activities
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as gardening or
craft
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
absence
Correct article usage
the absence
show examples
 of
Correct article usage
an economical
show examples
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
price
Use synonyms
 is influencing the change slowly in various parts of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
. A number of individuals utilise their
leisure
Use synonyms
 period as other members of the
society
Use synonyms
 do, which
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 changed as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 passes by.
This
Linking Words
 essay strongly agrees with
this
Linking Words
 statement as it will discuss
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
digitisation
Use synonyms
 and the economic
effects
Use synonyms
impact
Use synonyms
 on various timelines. To initiate with,
digitisation
Use synonyms
 is one of the vital factors that
Use synonyms
effects
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
how
Correct article usage
a persons
show examples
persons
Change the noun form
person
show examples
leisure
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 are utilised. Societies have changed significantly all over the
world
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 three decades when the
men
Use synonyms
 used to idle
time
Use synonyms
 for gardening and the
women
Use synonyms
 were busy with numerous types of
Use synonyms
craft
Fix the agreement mistake
crafts
show examples
 building on clothes and other components, whereas now
men
Use synonyms
 are spending
time
Use synonyms
 with
computer
Use synonyms
 games, which is learnt from the
influence
Use synonyms
 of the
society
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 are spending
time
Use synonyms
 with the gardening culture. In Bangladesh,
for instance
Linking Words
, the
Computer
Use synonyms
 journal published a report, which indicates an increase of 80%
men
Use synonyms
professionals
Use synonyms
, who can afford a computing
PlayStation
Use synonyms
,
switch
Change the verb form
switches
show examples
 their
leisure
Use synonyms
activities
Use synonyms
 due to the
influence
Use synonyms
 of their
colleagues
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 10 years, which is influenced by their
colleagues
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
digitisation
Use synonyms
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
serious
Add an article
a serious
show examples
impact
Use synonyms
 on
leisure
Use synonyms
activities
Use synonyms
 as they copy their
colleagues
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, economic
effects
Use synonyms
 had played a part on the globe while changing
leisure
Use synonyms
activities
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
. As the developed countries
high income
Add a hyphen
high-income
show examples
holders have only switched their
leisure
Use synonyms
activities
Use synonyms
cause
Use synonyms
 of affordability;
nevertheless
Linking Words
, technology will not be economical unless it is utilised, which can be followed from the trend of the mature economy.
For example
Linking Words
, In The United States of America over 90% of male
professionals
Use synonyms
 are playing
PlayStation
Use synonyms
 in their spare
time
Use synonyms
, according to the source of the daily mail as the
price
Use synonyms
 is
affordable
Add an article
the affordable
an affordable
show examples
cause
Use synonyms
 of high demands. To conclude,
digitisation
Use synonyms
 is changing
society
Use synonyms
’s
leisure
Use synonyms
 activity all over the
world
Use synonyms
 from traditional
activities
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as gardening or
craft
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
absence
Correct article usage
the absence
show examples
 of
Correct article usage
an economical
show examples
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
price
Use synonyms
 is influencing the change slowly in various parts of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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