IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In the future, the main reason for reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment, not to shop. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant from your own knowledge or experience.

#future #reason #mall #entertainment #shop
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent decades, shopping
malls
 and department stores have rapidly developed. We can see the effects on the economics of the world. I,
therefore
, believe it's obvious that lots of changes can happen for the shopping
malls
 system and its structure shortly. I completely believe and see that as soon as possible we will have that opportunity to go to shopping
malls
, for experiencing entertainment
such
 as going climbing and even skiing. Predictably, cutting-edge technology can cause great variations in the usage of shopping
malls
.
For instance
, lots of shopping
malls
 nowadays have restaurants and even some of them own cinemas,
theaters
Change the spelling
theatres
show examples
, and bowling alleys, it's fascinating that you can have both shops and entertainment places under one roof. Currently, most people don't go to shopping
malls
 just for shopping, they mostly go there for meetings and a great atmosphere and
colorful
Change the spelling
colourful
show examples
 shops it has,
moreover
 because of the new online
shop
's people are
also
 prefer to
shop
 online conveniently due to easy access to the internet.
For example
 in my situation whenever I would like to buy anything,
firstly
 I check online shops and
then
 if there is nothing suitable to buy I refer to shopping
malls
,
also
 another key point prefer to
shop
 online is massive traffic lines, in my hometown.
However
, I enjoyed shopping at huge
malls
 cause, in my opinion, you can try on clothes and get advice on products from the
shop
 assistant and make the right choice. In conclusion, I know and believe shopping
malls
 should be strongly changed their systems in a few years, and it will affect our lives.
Therefore
 online shoes should be on priority for buying goods or clothes
instead
 of massive shopping
malls
.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: