IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport Disucus both these views and give your own opinion.

#countries #people #sums #money #railway #lines #trains #cities #transport #disucus
In any developed country, the state pays special attention to the
development
 of human capital, which has a positive impact on the growth of the quality of life and efficiency of the national economy.
Kazakhstan
 is no exception. The current crisis conditions indicate the need to create a social protection system for the unemployed, especially young people
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 since the future of independent and sovereign
Kazakhstan
 depends on
youth
. In recent years,
Kazakhstan
 has seen significant changes in the composition of
employment
. The changing nature of
employment
 raises a number of pressing questions: is self-
employment
 an intermediate status between
employment
 and unemployment? Is there a need to extend an active form of social protection to new forms of
employment
? If so, how is
this
 possible? The purpose of the study was to examine the
youth
 labour
market
 in the framework of social partnership in the conditions of
development
 of modern
Kazakhstan
, to advise on the
development
 of
youth
Correct article usage
the youth
show examples
 labour
market
 based on the views of
youth
 and employers in the workplace. In the course of the study, statistical data concerning the
youth
 of
Kazakhstan
 were summarized and analyzed. The study used methods of comparative, systematic, empirical, and content analysis. The research is of scientific value, as it makes a certain contribution to the
development
 of the
youth
market
. Within the framework of the social partnership, the theoretical foundations of
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
market
 regulation and its mechanisms were considered, the
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
market
 of young people aged 15 to 29 years was analyzed, the main causes of
youth
 unemployment were considered, recommendations on
youth
employment
 and the
development
 of the
youth
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
market
 were given.
Submitted by khamitova751 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: