IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people believe that all the company decisions should be taken by the managers whereas others think it is better to include employees while making decisions. Discuss both the points and give your opinion.

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The line graph demonstrates the data on overseas
students
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 from Vietnam who studied in
France
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,
Russian
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 and
America
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 from 2000 to 2015. As an overall trend, it is noticeable that
,
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 there were similar upward trends in the number of
students
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 in
America
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 and
France
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, while
Russian
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 witnessed a downward trend. As shown in the graph, the
amount
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number
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 of
students
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 in
France
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 was highest in 2000, whereas
America
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 was the most popular destination in 2015. In 2000, there was an average of 3.5
million
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students
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 studying in
France
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, in comparison with only 3
million
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 in
Russian
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 and 1.5
million
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 in
America
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. Over the
next
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 five years, there was a considerable plummet of nearly a
million
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 in
France
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 and
Russian
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, whereas
America
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 witnessed an acceleration
to
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of
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 2
million
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students
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. From 2005 onwards, the figure for the US shotted up to 5
million
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students
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 at the end of the period after rising sharply in 10 years, while there was
a
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stability at 2.5
million
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students
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 in
France
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, which was followed by a substantial escalation to 4.5
million
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 in 2015.
However
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/
By contrast
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/
Conversely
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, the figure in
Russian
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 hit the lowest at under 2
million
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, but later experienced a recovery back to 2.5
million
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students
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • broader perspective
  • company's goals and strategy
  • informed decisions
  • align with the company's vision
  • boost morale
  • higher job satisfaction
  • productivity
  • experience and expertise
  • complex decisions
  • company's success
  • hands-on experience
  • insights
  • practical solutions
  • innovative ideas
  • extensive consultation
  • faster response times
  • competitive market
  • collaborative work culture
  • improve communication
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