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Band 4

The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. School should cut art and music out of the cirriculum so that children can focus on useful subjects such as information technology. To what extent do you agree?

#role #education #children #world #school #art #music #cirriculum #focus #subjects #information #technology
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education is to get ready for the modern world. Secondary schools and high schools should cut art and music out of the education system.
Then
 focusing on IT. My personal view is that it is not acceptable to cut art or music for other
subjects
. I think that all
subjects
 have a main role in
students
' life.
First
 of all,there are a number of
students
 who can not learn math, physics and chemistry. We can not force induce
students
 to learn these kinds of
subjects
.
Secondly
,there are a great number of
students
 and children who are really good at art and music. These
students
 were born to play musical instruments, draw pictures and so on.There are not doing it for earning money, they are doing it for pleasure. They are doing it because they feel happy.
Furthermore
, when a person does something for herself/himself, they are getting greater with their job.
Moreover
,they can be a well-known person in the future.
On the other hand
,when we force
students
 and pupils
learn
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to learn
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 technology, they can feel depressed when they can not do it. As we have seen
that is
 not reasonable to cut off other
subjects
.
Students
 are different, so their brains, too. It is not fair. Every student has the same right to learn something.
Submitted by abbasoveli on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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