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Band 4

Some people say that economic growth is the only way to end hunger and poverty, while others say that economic growth is damaging the environment so it must be stopped. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #growth #hunger #poverty #environment
People are dealing with different views about economic development. While there is be
lief t
Add an article
the belief
a belief
show examples
hat it is the so
lely m
Change the adverb
sole
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ethod to discontinue starvation and impoverishment, others claim that it does harm to the
environment
.
Although
 it can be stated that the expansion of ec
onomy c
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
an help national governments eradicate some difficulties, I believe that its effects on the
environment
 are completely unacceptable.
To begin
 with, the development of economics creates more job opportunities and increases the supply of goods.
This
 would provide the inhabitants with plenty jo
b v
Change preposition
of job
show examples
acancies, which may resolve the unemployment problems within a country. The unemployed would have better careers with higher income, and their salaries are capable of taking care of their family members.
In addition
, the vast extension in the quantities of products su
pply m
Wrong verb form
supplied
show examples
ight reduce the price of most consumer products.
Thus
, the impoverished are affordable to purchase more products and their living standards significantly get better.
However
, the surrounding
environment
 in recent years is becoming devastating due to some undesirable at
tempt t
Fix the agreement mistake
attempts
show examples
o grow the economy, and it must be strictly prevented.
For instance
, an enormous amount of raw sewage and industrial waste has been discharged from myriad industrial factories, which may co
ntaminates t
Change the verb form
contaminate
show examples
he sources of clean water and
then
 possibly cause cancer to people nearby.
Therefore
, governments must enforce strict laws and policies to stop these activities. To recapitulate, effectively may economic growth help better people’s li
fe,
Replace the word
lives
show examples
I reckon that some destructive activities to the
environment
 must be banned stringently.
Submitted by Andy on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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