In many countries, women join the army as men do. However, some people argue that the army solely needs males. What is your opinion?

#countries #women #army #men #people #males

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Nowadays, genderless is one of the important thinking in the world. In many nations, mothers take part in the military as males do, whereas others complain that the squad only needs to do guys. In my opinion, I partly agree with

this

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statement.

To begin

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with, it is evident that physical strength is a big difference between men and

women

Use synonyms

This

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is because a large number of tasks should have power in the artillery.

For example

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, they bring a heavy gun and rescue another person. boys tend to have more physical power than girls.

In addition

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, it is prejudiced that

women

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have to make a family and do housework. In Japan,

this

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idea is stuck in their mind. Due to

this

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, men are likely to work out while

women

Use synonyms

take care of their children.

On the other hand

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, there is no doubt that females

also

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have a right to join the command because individuals pay taxes to their country. A number of militaries, consist of tax revenues.

Thus

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women

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have to take participate in the system of the squad.

Furthermore

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, they can do a specific job in the military.

For instance

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, when a person is saved their life by the infantry, some people want to talk with

women

Use synonyms

’s soldiers. It can lessen the patient’s stress. To sum up, I partly agree with mothers doing the soldier job as fathers do because they are less likely to have physical strength than men.

However

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, they are

also

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one of the

numbers

Fix the agreement mistake

number

show examples

of countries and can help with same-sex more than different sex.

Submitted by ryohei.o532 on Fri Nov 19 2021

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

259 words

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In many countries, women join the army as men do. However, some people argue that the army solely needs males. What is your opinion?

Some people spend most of their lives living close to where they were born. What might be the reasons for this? What are the advantages and disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

some people suggested that cars should be banned in the centrals of the large cities. Do you agree or disagree？

Nowadays, more and more people engage in dangerous activities, such as sky diving and motorcycling. Are you in favour of them? Use examples to support your opinion.