Parents should encourage children to spend less time studying and more time doing physical activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Children's priorities have always been under parents' concerns. A coterie of the masses believe that the youth ought to be urged to attend
physically
Change the word
physical
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extra
Correct word choice
apply
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curriculums; meanwhile, others think having
kids
trained academically is more beneficial for future careers. From my perspective, I acquiesce in having
students
grind in their subjects and focus more on their studies. It is undeniable that academic concentration has numerous potentials.
Firstly
,
students
who take academic knowledge as their profession will have more opportunities
in being
Verb problem
to
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applied
Wrong verb form
apply
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for a high-paid occupation.
For instance
, graduates with a degree in computer science are more likely to be recruited for higher positioning vacancies than a person who
is excelled
Wrong verb form
excels
show examples
at playing soccer.
In addition
, mind-working jobs are less likely to be affected by unprecedented incidents. Evidently,
sports
championships are perpetually postponed
due to
the uncontrolled spread of covid 19;
however
, intellectual employees can flexibly work at their own accommodations and interact with each other via the mass media. Eventually, encouraging
kids
to follow the road of academics will ensure the prosperity of their futures.
On the other hand
, that children are exhorted to do
sports
activities
has a lot of limitations. Young
students
with lower physical status will be debilitated
being
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by being
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urged to do
sports
.
Thus
,
there
Correct your spelling
their
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being extremely fatigued will inhibit their leisure
activities
and performances at school.
for example
, offspring with chronic asthma will perform worse than normal
students
if their parents oblige them to spend
time
doing outdoor
sports
.
Moreover
,
sports
activities
will cause a lack of
time
spent on academic studies.
Therefore
,
kids
who have more limited abilities to study will worsen their marks at school by not spending a decent amount of
time
focusing on their drawbacks. Needless to say, urging the youth to play physical
activities
makes them distracted from their paramount purposes as
students
. In conclusion, the
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potential
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potentials
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potential
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that academic focus brings will be much more effective and efficient for
kids
' future lives. parents should create a consummate schedule to balance the
time
spent on studying and the
interval
Fix the agreement mistake
intervals
show examples
for
sports
activities
.
Submitted by nphu850 on

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task response
Ensure the introduction clearly states your position on the topic and addresses the main points of the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices such as linking words and transition phrases to improve the flow of your ideas and the overall coherence of the essay.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical activity
  • Development
  • Concentration
  • Obesity
  • Burnout
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Healthy lifestyle
  • Intellectual development
  • Structured activities
  • Teamwork
  • Leadership
  • Sedentary behavior
  • Tech addiction
  • Role models
  • Family bonds
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