Parents should encourage children to spend less time studying and more time doing physical activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Children's priorities have always been under parents' concerns. A coterie of the masses believe that the youth ought to be urged to attend
physically
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physical
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extra
Correct word choice
apply
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curriculums; meanwhile, others think having
kids
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trained academically is more beneficial for future careers. From my perspective, I acquiesce in having
students
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grind in their subjects and focus more on their studies. It is undeniable that academic concentration has numerous potentials.
Firstly
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,
students
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who take academic knowledge as their profession will have more opportunities
in being
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to
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applied
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apply
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for a high-paid occupation.
For instance
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, graduates with a degree in computer science are more likely to be recruited for higher positioning vacancies than a person who
is excelled
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excels
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at playing soccer.
In addition
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, mind-working jobs are less likely to be affected by unprecedented incidents. Evidently,
sports
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championships are perpetually postponed
due to
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the uncontrolled spread of covid 19;
however
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, intellectual employees can flexibly work at their own accommodations and interact with each other via the mass media. Eventually, encouraging
kids
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to follow the road of academics will ensure the prosperity of their futures.
On the other hand
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, that children are exhorted to do
sports
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activities
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has a lot of limitations. Young
students
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with lower physical status will be debilitated
being
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by being
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urged to do
sports
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.
Thus
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,
there
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their
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being extremely fatigued will inhibit their leisure
activities
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and performances at school.
for example
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, offspring with chronic asthma will perform worse than normal
students
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if their parents oblige them to spend
time
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doing outdoor
sports
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.
Moreover
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,
sports
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activities
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will cause a lack of
time
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spent on academic studies.
Therefore
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,
kids
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who have more limited abilities to study will worsen their marks at school by not spending a decent amount of
time
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focusing on their drawbacks. Needless to say, urging the youth to play physical
activities
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makes them distracted from their paramount purposes as
students
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. In conclusion, the
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potential
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potentials
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potential
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that academic focus brings will be much more effective and efficient for
kids
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' future lives. parents should create a consummate schedule to balance the
time
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spent on studying and the
interval
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intervals
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for
sports
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activities
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.
Submitted by nphu850 on

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task response
Ensure the introduction clearly states your position on the topic and addresses the main points of the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices such as linking words and transition phrases to improve the flow of your ideas and the overall coherence of the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical activity
  • Development
  • Concentration
  • Obesity
  • Burnout
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Healthy lifestyle
  • Intellectual development
  • Structured activities
  • Teamwork
  • Leadership
  • Sedentary behavior
  • Tech addiction
  • Role models
  • Family bonds
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