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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many parents are concerned about violent computer games or movies or leisure activities. How can this impact children ? What can be done to solve this problem?.

#parents #computer #games #movies #leisure #activities #impact #children
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Nowadays, the amount of
violence
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 in
movies
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, video
games
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 and leisure activities is growing. While some
people
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 argue that
this
Linking Words
 trend will undoubtedly lead humans to a dangerous future, others claim that it has no damaging effect on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society. I believe that in most cases
media
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violence
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 doesn't affect
people
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's
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
Firstly
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, I think that
people
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 act from their motives, regardless of what they see in the
movies
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 or in video
games
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.
That is
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 to say, if someone intends to do harm to somebody,
that is
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 not because of
movies
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 or playing computer
games
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, but due to that person's character and education.
Although
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 it is generally considered that violent
media
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 accustoms viewers to cruelty, I doubt
this
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 opinion. In my view, reasonable and intelligent
people
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 treat others humanely irrespective of what they see or hear in fictional stories.
Additionally
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, video
games
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 and
movies
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 may even reduce social
violence
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 by providing a safe outlet for aggressiveness.
In other words
Linking Words
, hostile
people
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 may fight in virtual reality
instead
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 of exhibiting their combative spirit in the real world.
This
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 may not only help those
people
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 but
also
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 reduce the level of social
violence
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 in the long-term perspective.
Finally
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, despite many claims and assumptions about the negative effects of
movies
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 and computer
games
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 I have never seen any proven connection between violent
media
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 and illegal activities in social life. Taking everything into consideration, I would say that
violence
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 in contemporary
media
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 has no substantial influence on a person’s
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
Movies
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 and virtual
games
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 are not the main factors that shape personal character, and they can even be useful in reducing the level of
violence
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by urunova7777 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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