World would be better place if more women were in leadership positions . To what extent you agree or disagree .

#world #place #women #leadership #positions

A person in a leadership seat should have all the qualities like knowledge , experience , emotions and so on . Some people argue that if more females were leaders

then

the world will be better as compared to now . I partially agree with the given statement .

To begin

with , the factors that why there would be more ladies in politics .

Firstly

, they would develop the rules snd regulations for girls safety . To illustrate, girls safety is a big topic of concern all over the world , if ladies had power in her hand , it would never be a topic of concern .

Secondly

, females would take

decision

Fix the agreement mistake

decisions

show examples

by thinking about all the conditions like emotionally , financially and so on .

For instance

, when she

take

Change the verb form

takes

show examples

any decision , she would think about the poor people

that

Correct word choice

and

show examples

how will they manage . And corruption would be disappeared she would distribute as much as she could to needy people . And the condition would be better now .

However

, the

first

and foremost reason that why gender does not play role in campaigning , knowledge about all the rules regulations

also

matter

Change the verb form

matters

show examples

For example

, when a doctor does

the

Correct article usage

show examples

operation or surgery , he has all the information regarding the patient situation , how to treat him by following the procedure carefully . As same as a doctor , politicians should all have wisdom about the public and his problem .

Moreover

, the experience should

also

playing

Change the verb form

play

be playing

show examples

a vital role in politics . As an inexperienced doctor do

operation

Correct article usage

an operation

show examples

, there are a lot of risks that the operation will be successful or not . Even though a politician might be able to do politics , he will never be able to fulfil the needs of the public and makes them feel happy . In conclusion ,

although

a lady might be able to decrease a threat from girls because only women can understand other women's feelings, awareness and experience are

also

important to be a leader .

Submitted by kiranghuman43 on Sun Nov 21 2021

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

351 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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World would be better place if more women were in leadership positions . To what extent you agree or disagree .

Your opinion

Technology is becoming progressively universal. In the fullness of time, classroom teachers will be totally substituted for technology. Do you agree or disagree?

When a country is already rich, any additional increase in economic wealth does not make its citizens happier. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Today, many people do not have time to spend with their families in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this?

Some people think women should be given equal chances to work and excel in their careers. Others believe that a women's role should be limited to taking care of the house and children. What opinion do you agree and why?

It is inevitable that traditional cultures will be lost as technology develops.Technology and traditional cultures are incompatible.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view.