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Band 5

The tendency of human beings to copy one another is shown in the popularity of areas such as fashion and consumer goods. To what extent do you agree?

#tendency #beings #copy #popularity #areas #fashion #consumer #goods
It is often argued that
people
 enjoy coping
each
Change preposition
with each
show examples
 other and
that is
 the reason why fashion and consumerism thrive. In my opinion,
this
 is largely true though there are other potential practical explanations. Humans tend to compare their own life with the lives of
people
 surrounding them.
Consequently
, most individuals aim at looking not
worser
Correct your spelling
worse
 and ideally better than others.
This
 desire facilitates the growth of the fashion and consumer industries as
people
 buy those stuff in order to
mantain
Correct your spelling
maintain
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 prosperous and beneficial appearance in the eyes of others.
For instance
, if the members of
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 certain social group start considering a car as an indicator of success, many individuals of that society would buy a car even if they do not really need it.
On the other hand
, there are other
reason
Change the wording
reasons
show examples
 facilitating the consumerism culture. The overall wealth of the human population is growing, so the number of
people
 who could afford
purchasing
Change the verb form
to purchase
show examples
 new clothes and new goods is growing as well. Those
people
, who have just escaped poverty, buy new things not because they want to copy anyone, but because those new things help
people
 to meet their basic needs.
For instance
,
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
 hiking clothes make
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 by foot much more convenient and safe.
Consequently
, as soon as
people
 could afford
such
 clothes they buy
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. To conclude,
although
 there are
people
 who purchase new goods just for the sake of
mantaining
Correct your spelling
maintaining
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 public appearance, others buy them because of
neccessity
Correct your spelling
necessity
.
Submitted by foklacu on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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