These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television, and this is having a negative impact on children's behaviour. Do you agree or disagree?

#amount #violence #television #impact #children #behaviour

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Nowadays, we can see rapid growth in the amount of disturbance and disorder shown on

television

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. I personally believe that it is having a significant negative influence on how

children

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behave.

Firstly

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, from a young age,

children

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are looking for role models, someone they can look up to, and they often find them on

television

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, in various

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shows or movies. While watching

television

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, kids usually think that

everyone

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every one

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that is

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is cool and famous

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apply

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and that generally leads to kids wanting to be like those famous people on

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. But the reality is that more and more violence is shown on different

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shows and movies.

Therefore

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children

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think that that savage behaviour is right and cool and they often act upon it.

Secondly

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, being exposed to that fierce act at

such

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young age can lead to damaging the person that they grow into.

For instance

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, from the age of 7, we are growing and learning about life and

that is

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the main reason why we should not let our

children

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watch anything that has violent scenes

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apply

show examples

because it can make permanent damage to our kids.

For instance

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, a recent Child Psychological report in the United Kingdom linked the surge in juvenile shoplifting and knife attacks to the violence featured on

television

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Therefore

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, if there have been a reduction in the violence on

television

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, there would have been a significant decline in juvenile crime in many societies. To sum up, the increase of the violent

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shows and movies that are shown on

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is huge. It should be reduced

as a result

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of taking care of our

children

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and their bright future.

Submitted by nadjas253 on Mon Nov 22 2021

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

276 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

desensitize
mimicking
aggressive
idolize
fear or anxiety
social interactions
mental health
proactive
supervision
content

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