IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

In some countries fast food restaurants and supermarkets give money to schools to promote their products. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #food #restaurants #supermarkets #money #schools #products #development
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It is a fact that some fast food joints and supermarkets provide
monetory
Correct your spelling
monetary
 help to schools for the promotion of their products. Young
school going
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school-going
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 children are easy targets for these big
compnies
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companies
 to sell their not so healthy brands. I feel
,
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apply
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this
 is surely a negative development. We all are aware of
Correct article usage
the ill-effects
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ill-effects
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ill effects
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 of these junk food items and
chemical laden
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chemical-laden
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 outputs available at cheap cost in big malls. Paid promotions have been
great
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a great
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 source of advertisements for these big brands but making use of innocent young children who are very vulnerable to these cheap and tasty beverages, is not advisable.
Schools
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School
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is
Change the verb form
are
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 a place where a child learns to identify between good and bad.
Therefore
, School should not be a place where all
such
 bad habits are inculcated amongst
the
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apply
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teenagers. There should be a strict law
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 prevents
such
 things from happening.
Moreover
, parents need to be aware
what
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of what
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 their child is eating and take extra precautions in developing good eating habits in them. To conclude, I would say that earning profits is definitely a motive behind running any venture but corporations are
also
 answerable to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society and
hence
 be held accountable if they are found to be playing with the health of the ultimate consumer.
Submitted by omkar.mhaskar on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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