Some people think that medical service should not be run by profit making campanies . Do the disadvantages of private health care outweigh its advantages??!!

It is usually argued that
Profit making
Correct your spelling
Profit-making
show examples
companies or
coorporations
Correct your spelling
corporations
should not be allowed to function in the healthcare sector and it should only
run
Add a missing verb
be run
show examples
by governments or NGOs.I
ackowledge
Correct your spelling
acknowledge
that it has a wide range of
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
.
However
,it has some drawbacks too.
According to
me
Add a comma
me,
show examples
the advantages of private organizations working in medical services are much greater than
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
disadvantages. We have many good
government
hospitals
in our country but when comparing it to the population size of India they are
no where
Join the words
nowhere
show examples
near sufficient,
Hence
Rephrase
apply
show examples
the need
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
private
hospitals
rise
Correct subject-verb agreement
rises
show examples
and we in our country are able to maintain a stable health care system only when
government
as well as
private sector work together in
this
department.
For example
- When
vaccination
Correct article usage
the vaccination
show examples
drive for conid-19 began we
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
the country with the most number of vacciniations
dose
Fix the agreement mistake
doses
show examples
adminstared
Correct your spelling
administered
in the world which was a great achievement but was only possible because
general
Add an article
the general
show examples
public was able to get the shot from
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
as well as
prvivate
Correct your spelling
private
hospitals
.
Usually
Add a comma
Usually,
show examples
treatments in Private
hospitals
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
quite expensive.Not everyone can afford
going
Change the verb form
to go
show examples
there and
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
they totally rely on
government
bodies only.
Although
this
is true
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
nowadays governments are coming up with policies which help people from economically weaker
section
Fix the agreement mistake
sections
show examples
to get the same facilities and treatment that any
finally
Rephrase
apply
show examples
well person is getting. Recently a new law was passed in my city which stated that if there is an accident victim can go to any nearby hospital and will be treated free of charge irrespective it is a
government
or private hospital.
To conclude
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
would say it is a boon to have private
health care
Correct your spelling
healthcare
show examples
facilities in our society
although
it is necessary
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
for
government
organizations to regulate
such
institutes so that
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
do not exploit
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
power and under
priveleged
Correct your spelling
privileged
section is
also
not left behind.
Submitted by mailtoritika.chandwani on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: