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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Full-time university students spend a lot of time studying. Some say they should do other activities too. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#university #students #time #say #activities
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Studying at the university is one of the most important phases which determines success in our careers. Full-time education demands a lot of time, energy and focus. I definitely agree with the notion that learners must engage in hobbies as well. In the upcoming essay, I will discuss my reasons in more detail. First of all, the schedule for lectures and practicals that they follow is extremely dense. There is little room for
accomodating
Correct your spelling
accommodating
 other hobby-related activities.
For instance
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, the difficulty level for the degrees
such
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 as engineering and law is extremely high. It is noticed that many learners take loans for their education so as to fund their fees. To repay the loan, they have no other choice but to study hard, achieve greater grades and eventually get a
better paying
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better-paying
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 job. That being said, it creates a negative impact on the mind and human psychology. Too much stress may prove to be the first cause of failure in exams.
Thus
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, engaging in hobbies
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
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 stress making minds sharp for study. Second of all, many of them depend on scholarships so as to continue their education. To achieve it, they have to study even harder than others because of the limited quota. When the demand is more and supply is less, they may feel more pressure of succeeding which may lead them to worry about studies. To relieve extreme pressure, other activities like meditating, painting, exercising, singing or dancing are scientifically proven to be beneficial for
overall
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 growth. It gives time for the brain to recover and recharge for better focus in studies.
To conclude
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, it is clearly seen that educational stress is inevitable for good career success. But it is
also
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 important to engage in extra-curricular activities that are evidently beneficial to maintain brain health.
Submitted by bhagya.jog on

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task response
Ensure that the introduction clearly states your position (agree/disagree) and gives a preview of the main points you will discuss in the body paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Include a stronger conclusion that summarizes your main arguments and restates your position clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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