Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behavior. What is your opinion?

#people #violence #television #computer #games #effect #society #factors #influence #behavior

is argue

Change the verb form

is argued

show examples

whether violence on media has injurious effects on

people

in the community.

this

essay agrees that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

TV programmes

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

direct effects on

audience

Add an article

the audience

show examples

because

firstly

people

may copy the actions they see and

secondly

the violent computer games can normalise aggression in daily life. I believe that in general, all human beings copy

each others behaviour

Change to a genitive case

each other's behaviour

show examples

. they have been imitating the comportment of their parents, siblings and

also

other acquaintances since they were born, so how in the eye of many the media cannot influence

Change preposition

apply

show examples

society. if

people

get used to behaving outrageous, I’m sure that conflicts and quarrels

increases

Change the verb form

increase

show examples

particularly in families.

it's disturbs

Change the verb form

it disturbs

show examples

the peace in

household

Add an article

the household

show examples

afterward

Add a comma

,afterward

show examples

this

attitude will be seen

also

in larger groups of

people

. Research shows that 60% of

people

who used to play harsh video games have committed murder. unfortunately

this

is an undeniable fact. these games imperceptibly cause symptoms

such

as physical and psychological damages, isolation, depression and

enhance

Wrong verb form

enhanced

show examples

anger.

Consequently

, it

normalise

Change the verb form

normalises

show examples

assassination in the mind. under these circumstances,

this

man is motivated to commit murder and feels satisfied.

this

man is a dangerous threat to others,

therefore

the harms that

this

person causes are uncountable. In conclusion, I would argue that media has many negative impacts, but by not overdoing following

such

this

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

things,

also

with the help of a psychologist in serious

cases

Add a comma

,cases

show examples

we can prevent these problems before they get bigger.

Submitted by TUTOO on Wed Nov 24 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

239 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

proliferation
desensitize
empathetic response
aggressive behavior
formative years
impressionable
catharsis
media psychology
mixed results
family environment
genetics
regulatory bodies
rating systems
vulnerable demographics
inappropriate content

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
It is believed that students at schools and universities can learn better via technology rather than with teachers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The generation nowadays has become more demanding due to evolution that they are in. Some students tend to learn through technology in a better way. However, there are still students who prefer and stick to human teachers. I, generally agree with this notion.
6
band
Some people think that success in life comes from hardwork and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Among human aspirations, a prosperous life is among the most common. Some believe that peserverance and hard effort are essential to success, while others believe that material wealth and good looks are more important. Both sides of the argument are discussed in detail in this article, and i will offer my reasoning for supporting the first opinion.
7
band
Technology is being used more and more in education. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.
It is argued that technology plays an ever-increasing role in schools and universities. Increased access to information and student freedom are the main advantages, whereas dependency on technology and decreasing levels of face-to-face contact are the main disadvantages.
7
band
The cost of flying has decreased significantly over the last decade. This has made overseas travel much more accessible. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.
Over the last 10 years, the cost of aviation has significantly decreased. As a result, this has caused a rise in overseas travel. This essay will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.
6
band
THE CONTINUED RISE IN THE WORLD'S POPULATION IS THE GREATEST PROBLEM BY HUMANITY AT THE PRESENT TIME. WHAT ARE THE CAUSE IF THIS CONTINUED RISE? DO YOU AGREE THAT IT IS THE GREATEST PROBLEM FACED BY HUMANITY?
Nowadays, the major issue frustrated by society is our population on Earth which is continued growth. while the main reason for this situation is medical breakthroughs, it turned into the main dilemma of humanity’s ways.

Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behavior. What is your opinion?

Your opinion

It is believed that students at schools and universities can learn better via technology rather than with teachers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that success in life comes from hardwork and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Technology is being used more and more in education. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

The cost of flying has decreased significantly over the last decade. This has made overseas travel much more accessible. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.

THE CONTINUED RISE IN THE WORLD'S POPULATION IS THE GREATEST PROBLEM BY HUMANITY AT THE PRESENT TIME. WHAT ARE THE CAUSE IF THIS CONTINUED RISE? DO YOU AGREE THAT IT IS THE GREATEST PROBLEM FACED BY HUMANITY?