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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

El Nino is the name of a warm ocean current that affects weather patterns on both sides of the Pacific Ocean. The diagrams compare normal conditions in the Pacific with El Nino conditions.

El Nino is the name of a warm ocean current that affects weather patterns on both sides of the Pacific Ocean. The diagrams compare normal conditions in the Pacific with El Nino conditions.
#el #nino #name #ocean #weather #patterns #diagrams #conditions
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The given process illustrates what
happen
Change the verb form
happens
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on
Change preposition
in
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 normal conditions and EI Nino conditions in the Pacific
Ocean
Use synonyms
. EI Nino means the warm
ocean
Use synonyms
, which is impact the weather format on
East
Correct article usage
the East
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 and
West
Use synonyms
 Pacific
Use synonyms
Ocean
Fix the agreement mistake
Oceans
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, the Pacific
Ocean
Use synonyms
 in normal condition is split
the
Correct article usage
apply
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by cool and warm
water
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
wind
Add an article
the wind
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 is strong on the east and weak on the
west
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. life live
at
Change preposition
in
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 the east as nutrients are rich.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
cloudy
Replace the word
clouds
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 and
storm
Fix the agreement mistake
storms
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 are more in the
west
Use synonyms
 compared with
east
Add an article
the east
show examples
. Since that,
Austrian
Correct your spelling
Austria
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 is suffering rainy weather but Pure is sunshine. In a normal situation,
wind
Use synonyms
 in the
west
Use synonyms
 pacific is weak,
whereas
Linking Words
 the
water
Use synonyms
 temperature is warm. The weather
on
Change preposition
in
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 that section is cloudy and
storm
Replace the word
stormy
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 and rainy.
By contrast
Linking Words
, strong trade winds on the east pacific
while
Linking Words
water
Use synonyms
 is cool. Since that, nutrients
on
Change preposition
in
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 that area are rich, which is
good
Correct article usage
a good
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 condition for marine life. Comparing normal
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
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 and EI Nino status,
wind
Use synonyms
 blowing level
change
Fix the agreement mistake
changes
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 despite the direction
is
Wrong verb form
being
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same
Correct article usage
the same
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. Stronger
wind
Use synonyms
 on the
west
Use synonyms
 pacific
instead
Linking Words
 of the east pacific.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, warm
water
Use synonyms
 toward to east,
as a result
Linking Words
, nutrients are reduced, which
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
 sea life
decrease
Fix the infinitive
to decrease
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. At the same time, storming and
raining
Replace the word
rain
show examples
 cover the whole pacific.
Submitted by sze0910 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words ocean, west, water, wind with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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