IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

COins and paper money will soon be replaced by credit and back cards. DO you agree or disagree that eventually we will have a cashless society which will be safer and more convenient for everyone?

#coins #paper #money #credit #cards #cashless #society
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Nowadays, there are many
people
 who argue
about
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that
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digital currencies will replace physical money like coins and paper.
This
transform
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transformation
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 can bring more safety and convenience to the public. I totally agree with
this
 statement. In the following, I will express the reasons to suggest my opinion.
First,
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
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the
bank
card
 is easier and lighter to put in the wallet compared to the coins. Using the
card
 is cleaner and
quickly
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quicker
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, the public can pay the fee with the exact amount from their
bank
 account and without any charging or exchange fee.
Moreover
, many reports show that cash like coins and paper money
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 dirtier and can spare germs because they have been used and transferred from different
people
. Apart from the hygiene problem, based on the improved technology, most of the stores, restaurants, and places have been accepting credit and debit
cards
.
In addition
, it is secure to pay your
cards
 in the present compared to cash.
For example
, when
people
 pay with their
cards
, the
bank
 needs the customer to enter the passwords
also
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and also
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 need to sign in the receipt, if the amount is large. After purchase, some banks would send
the
Correct article usage
a
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 text message directly to the
card holder's
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cardholder's
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 phone to make sure and confirm that that expense is made by the customer, and
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that
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no one can use your
card
 without your permission and notice.
Last
 but not least,
people
 now insert their
cards
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card
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 information into their phones to make the shopping experience more
fluently
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fluent
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.
Then
,
people
 do not need to bring many
staffs
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staff
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 to go out.
However
, consumers should be aware of how much they spend to avoid the problem of
over-consume
Correct your spelling
over-consumption
show examples
. In summary, I believe that more public will choose to use the
bank
card
instead
 of the banknote,
and
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apply
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which not only
bring
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brings
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convenience,
also
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but also
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take
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takes
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responsibility for the security problem.
Submitted by yuetmng8989 on

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task response
Overall, the essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear argument in support of the idea that digital currencies will replace physical money. Make sure to fully develop and elaborate on each supporting point to strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is mostly effective, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, pay attention to the connection between paragraphs to enhance the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.
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