COins and paper money will soon be replaced by credit and back cards. DO you agree or disagree that eventually we will have a cashless society which will be safer and more convenient for everyone?

#coins #paper #money #credit #cards #cashless #society

Nowadays, there are many

people

who argue

about

Change preposition

that

show examples

digital currencies will replace physical money like coins and paper.

This

transform

Replace the word

transformation

show examples

can bring more safety and convenience to the public. I totally agree with

this

statement. In the following, I will express the reasons to suggest my opinion.

First,

all

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

the

bank

card

is easier and lighter to put in the wallet compared to the coins. Using the

card

is cleaner and

quickly

Replace the word

quicker

show examples

, the public can pay the fee with the exact amount from their

bank

account and without any charging or exchange fee.

Moreover

, many reports show that cash like coins and paper money

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

dirtier and can spare germs because they have been used and transferred from different

people

. Apart from the hygiene problem, based on the improved technology, most of the stores, restaurants, and places have been accepting credit and debit

cards

In addition

, it is secure to pay your

cards

in the present compared to cash.

For example

, when

people

pay with their

cards

, the

bank

needs the customer to enter the passwords

also

Correct word choice

and also

show examples

need to sign in the receipt, if the amount is large. After purchase, some banks would send

the

Correct article usage

show examples

text message directly to the

card holder's

Correct your spelling

cardholder's

show examples

phone to make sure and confirm that that expense is made by the customer, and

Correct word choice

that

show examples

no one can use your

card

without your permission and notice.

Last

but not least,

people

now insert their

cards

Change the noun form

card

show examples

information into their phones to make the shopping experience more

fluently

Change the word

fluent

show examples

Then

people

do not need to bring many

staffs

Fix the agreement mistake

staff

show examples

to go out.

However

, consumers should be aware of how much they spend to avoid the problem of

over-consume

Correct your spelling

over-consumption

show examples

. In summary, I believe that more public will choose to use the

bank

card

instead

of the banknote,

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

which not only

bring

Correct subject-verb agreement

brings

show examples

convenience,

also

Correct word choice

but also

show examples

take

Correct subject-verb agreement

takes

show examples

responsibility for the security problem.

Submitted by yuetmng8989 on Thu Nov 25 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Overall, the essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear argument in support of the idea that digital currencies will replace physical money. Make sure to fully develop and elaborate on each supporting point to strengthen the argument.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is mostly effective, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, pay attention to the connection between paragraphs to enhance the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

307 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Students should be primarily taught academic subjects so that they can pass exams, and practical skills such as cooking should not be taught. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is a widespread belief that only mandatory academic subjects should be taught at school in order for students to pass their exams, whereas other skills, namely cooking, dancing, and sports, should be eliminated from the school's curriculum. Although learning only the core subjects can help students focus more and perform better academically, I partly disagree with this strategy because it would only make students more stressed. Instead, students need to have practical skills to help them transition smoothly into the real world.
7
band
Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Many governments prioritize economic progress as their most important goal, believing that a strong economy ensures prosperity, job creation, and improved living standards. However, some people argue that other types of progress, such as social, environmental, and cultural development, are equally important for a country’s overall well-being. This essay will discuss both views and present my own opinion.
5
band
Write about the following topic: Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out.  In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
English is one of the most spoken languages in the world. Also, it has a very important place in education, even local languages have fallen behind it. It should be supported to recover its importance. In addition, everyone should know English. This essay will discuss both views.
5.5
band
Some people think that newspapers are the best way to get news. However, others believe that other media are better sources of news. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
It is true for many people that reading news in newspapers is the most effective method to learn about current and international events as well as broaden their horizon, while others claim that getting news via media, radio and the internet is the best option. From my point of view, although reading news from the newspaper is the great way to obtain information, I would argue that using other types of media is preferable.
<4
band
Large members of visitors can endanger ancient archeological sites such as Machu Plcchu. In your opinion, is it more important to try to preserve such sites or allow public access to them?
Machu Picchu is one of the most interesting places for tourists ,however, it has been endangered by a huge number of individuals , so , there are limitations for sensitive locations on that , so ,during many years , this monument has been preserved ,so,limited accessible to specific monument is a good solution to protect them , because, their architecture might be going to destroyed by a lot of numbers of visitors ,because, the foundation of these buildings are too old .

COins and paper money will soon be replaced by credit and back cards. DO you agree or disagree that eventually we will have a cashless society which will be safer and more convenient for everyone?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Students should be primarily taught academic subjects so that they can pass exams, and practical skills such as cooking should not be taught. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that newspapers are the best way to get news. However, others believe that other media are better sources of news. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Large members of visitors can endanger ancient archeological sites such as Machu Plcchu. In your opinion, is it more important to try to preserve such sites or allow public access to them?