Some people think that video games are advantages while others believe video games are harmful to the people who play them., I would argue that video game my give the negative effect.

In my point of ,
view
Add an article
the view
a view
show examples
video
game
is harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
people
who play.
firstly
,
video
games
waste a lot of
time
.
For
example
, the
game
“ Minecraft” which players
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
to play over 10 hours per day. As a
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
resours
Correct your spelling
resources
it takes too much
time
that
people
do not have
time
to do another work.
in addition
,
people
might be wasted money on
games
because the price of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
video
games
is high
such
as the cost of the
game
“ PUBG” about ten dollars. If they do not play
games
, they can save their money.
Moreover
, because of spending a lot of
time
playing
games
that
video
games
affect
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their health.
For
example
, players who play over eighty hundred maybe a
heache
Correct your spelling
headache
teacher
and
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
eyesore if they do not play
games
, their health might be better.
Although
it gives some bad
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
, it
also
brings some
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
for
people
who play
games
. On the top of my head,
video
games
help
people
solve their stress.
For
example
, after
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
Add a comma
,school
show examples
they can play
games
to relax.
Secondly
,
video
games
might help benefit
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
education due to learning English through
games
.
For
example
, a number of the
games
use English as the main language that
people
need to know English to play
Add an article
the game
a game
show examples
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
. In conclusion, playing
games
is bring benefit for
people
but I believe that
video
games
are disadvantages that
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
should be away from children.
Submitted by tinnghe2000 on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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