IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people think that video games are advantages while others believe video games are harmful to the people who play them., I would argue that video game my give the negative effect.

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In my point of ,
view
Add an article
the view
a view
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video
Use synonyms
game
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 is harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
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people
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 who play.
firstly
Linking Words
,
video
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games
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 waste a lot of
time
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.
For
Linking Words
example
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, the
game
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 “ Minecraft” which players
has
Change the verb form
have
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 to play over 10 hours per day. As a
,
Remove the comma
apply
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resours
Correct your spelling
resources
 it takes too much
time
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 that
people
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 do not have
time
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 to do another work.
in addition
Linking Words
,
people
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 might be wasted money on
games
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 because the price of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
video
Use synonyms
games
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 is high
such
Linking Words
 as the cost of the
game
Use synonyms
 “ PUBG” about ten dollars. If they do not play
games
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, they can save their money.
Moreover
Linking Words
, because of spending a lot of
time
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 playing
games
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 that
video
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games
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 affect
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their health.
For
Linking Words
example
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, players who play over eighty hundred maybe a
heache
Correct your spelling
headache
teacher
and
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 eyesore if they do not play
games
Use synonyms
, their health might be better.
Although
Linking Words
 it gives some bad
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
, it
also
Linking Words
 brings some
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 for
people
Use synonyms
 who play
games
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. On the top of my head,
video
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games
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 help
people
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 solve their stress.
For
Linking Words
example
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, after
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
Add a comma
,school
show examples
 they can play
games
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 to relax.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
video
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
 might help benefit
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
education due to learning English through
games
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.
For
Linking Words
example
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, a number of the
games
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 use English as the main language that
people
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 need to know English to play
Use synonyms
Add an article
the game
a game
show examples
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
. In conclusion, playing
games
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 is bring benefit for
people
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 but I believe that
video
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games
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 are disadvantages that
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
should be away from children.

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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