Some people think that video games are advantages while others believe video games are harmful to the people who play them., I would argue that video game my give the negative effect.

#people #video #games #game #effect

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In my point of ,

view

Add an article

the view

a view

show examples

video

game

is harmful

for

Change the preposition

show examples

people

who play.

firstly

video

games

waste a lot of

time

For

example

, the

game

“ Minecraft” which players

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

to play over 10 hours per day. As a

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

resours

Correct your spelling

resources

it takes too much

time

that

people

do not have

time

to do another work.

in addition

people

might be wasted money on

games

because the price of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

video

games

is high

such

as the cost of the

game

“ PUBG” about ten dollars. If they do not play

games

, they can save their money.

Moreover

, because of spending a lot of

time

playing

games

that

video

games

affect

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their health.

For

example

, players who play over eighty hundred maybe a

heache

Correct your spelling

headache

teacher

and

Correct your spelling

show examples

eyesore if they do not play

games

, their health might be better.

Although

it gives some bad

effect

Fix the agreement mistake

effects

show examples

, it

also

brings some

benefit

Fix the agreement mistake

benefits

show examples

for

people

who play

games

. On the top of my head,

video

games

help

people

solve their stress.

For

example

, after

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

school

Add a comma

,school

show examples

they can play

games

to relax.

Secondly

video

games

might help benefit

Change preposition

apply

show examples

education due to learning English through

games

For

example

, a number of the

games

use English as the main language that

people

need to know English to play

Add an article

the game

a game

show examples

game

Fix the agreement mistake

games

show examples

. In conclusion, playing

games

is bring benefit for

people

but I believe that

video

games

are disadvantages that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

should be away from children.

Submitted by tinnghe2000 on Wed Dec 01 2021

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

237 words

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Some people think that video games are advantages while others believe video games are harmful to the people who play them., I would argue that video game my give the negative effect.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones for communication has a negative effect on young people's reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that using a bicycle as main from of transportation has a lot of advantages, whereas others think that it has many disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your Opinion about this?