Some people think that video games are advantages while others believe video games are harmful to the people who play them., I would argue that video game my give the negative effect.
In my point of ,
view
Add an article
the view
a view
video
game
is harmful for
Change the preposition
to
people
who play. firstly
, video
games
waste a lot of time
. For
example
, the game
“ Minecraft” which players has
to play over 10 hours per day. As a Change the verb form
have
,
Remove the comma
apply
resours
it takes too much Correct your spelling
resources
time
that people
do not have time
to do another work. in addition
, people
might be wasted money on games
because the price of the
Correct article usage
apply
video
games
is high such
as the cost of the game
“ PUBG” about ten dollars. If they do not play games
, they can save their money. Moreover
, because of spending a lot of time
playing games
that video
games
affect on
their health. Change preposition
apply
For
example
, players who play over eighty hundred maybe a heache
Correct your spelling
headache
teacher
and
eyesore if they do not play Correct your spelling
an
games
, their health might be better.
Although
it gives some bad effect
, it Fix the agreement mistake
effects
also
brings some benefit
for Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
people
who play games
. On the top of my head, video
games
help people
solve their stress. For
example
, after the
Correct article usage
apply
school
they can play Add a comma
,school
games
to relax. Secondly
, video
games
might help benefit on
education due to learning English through Change preposition
apply
games
. For
example
, a number of the games
use English as the main language that people
need to know English to play Add an article
the game
a game
game
.
In conclusion, playing Fix the agreement mistake
games
games
is bring benefit for people
but I believe that video
games
are disadvantages that it
should be away from children.Correct pronoun usage
apply
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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion