IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people think that the government should invest more money in teaching science than other subjects to make progress. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #money #science #subjects #progress
The kind of growth and development observed in the discipline sector has seized the attention of certain individuals, and they believe that the government should allot more
funds
 for education
subjects
 over other
subjects
. Since scientific development is essential for a country, I can't entirely disagree with allotting significant
funds
 for system
subjects
. In the following paragraphs, I shall explain why it is necessary to allocate more money for science
subjects
. It is undeniable that art has contributed to the development of the whole world. It has
also
 improved the quality of life by introducing new electrical and computer systems.
For example
, with the help of a computer system, we can now work efficiently. It has helped us discover various ways to resolve issues like fossil energy extinction by introducing renewable energy.
Moreover
, it has
also
 made life easier for people by producing electrical appliances
such
 as washing machines, refrigerators, and other appliances.
Moreover
, there are numerous reasons why governments should allot more money into the teaching system to boost the country and society's functions.
Such
 as youngsters who are equipped with fundamental knowledge related to skill, will be able to broaden their own knowledge to discover something new. By allocating more
funds
 to learning, the government can improve its scope of research in fields
such
 as medicine and astronomy, which will help the country prosper.
Although
 the study of other
subjects
such
 as arts and commerce
also
 contribute to the national interest, the technique has an unimpeachable position. In conclusion, education has made significant developments in the past few years, which is the reason why I believe that the government should allocate more
funds
 for information
subjects
.
Submitted by uluga2002 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: