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Band 5.5

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes(for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #service #part #school #programmes #charity #neighborhood #sports #children
In recent years, the majority of communities problems
derivative
Add a missing verb
are derivative
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 from classes that pupils do not take in educational institutions.So
as a result
, some folks believe that voluntary programs
such
 as charity affairs, serving dishes at the school canteen, emergency rescue and etc should be
mandatory
Add an article
a mandatory
show examples
part
 of the school time.
I'm entirely support
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I entirely support
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this
 position because in these cases youngsters learn noteworthy lessons
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
 example, they learn how to
responsible
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respond
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 in real life and
also
 gain valuable experiences during that time.
To begin
 with, one of
the
Change the article
an
show examples
 integral
part
Change to a plural noun
parts
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 of finding
job
Add an article
a job
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 is
experience
Add an article
an experience
the experience
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 that you
were undergo
Change the verb form
underwent
show examples
 in your life.To cue evidence, young races can achieve these experiences by doing volunteer jobs
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 have no salaries.
For instance
, when they participate in emergency
first
 aids they learn numerous things like social manners, how to show prompt action in unexpected circumstances, enhance their sympathy and so on.To sum up, these unpaid tasks teach them how to encounter
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
hard situations in their lives.
Furthermore
, when the young population take
part
 in voluntary services they become proficient in responsibility too.
This
 example convinced the statement above, when you obligate to teach English to
foreign
Add an article
the foreign
a foreign
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student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 you acquire skills in time management, how to give speech properly and etc.So, those free public jobs literally can improve the responsibility of young students of society. To summarize,free jobs should be
unavoidable
Add an article
an unavoidable
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part
 of school because it has many positive side effects.Personally,I have the same view
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
 topic.
Finally
, maybe we will face obstacles in foreseeable future
as a result
 of these
trainings
Change the wording
training
pieces of training
show examples
.
Submitted by ghafooriarya on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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