Some people think that it would be better for larger companies and industry to move to regional areas outside large urban centers. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #companies #industry #move #areas #centers

this

fast-paced life,

people

live better and they face less risk of death than they did in their past.

Accordingly

, the average life expectancy is increased as expected. Though

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the environment helps to live longer there are problems which cause for individuals and society.

This

issue could be controlled by taking different measures.

Firstly

, throughout the world place where there is excellent medical support from the

government

to their civilians which has been easily incorporated by the

people

to survive long. Whereas, authorities are facing difficulties to manage the medical expenditure especially with ageing

people

. Actually, it is both self and

government

responsibility to act

accordingly

towards resolution.

On the other hand

, Countries can extend the retirement age to 70 to 75

instead

of 60 to 65

therefore

ruling party could avoid some cost spending from their yearly budget.

However

, planning family and children at a younger age could be

also

an awful idea to reduce the impact of the increase in population. Even though, educating

people

to have family and kids in the early stage would be

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

helpful

government

should set some rules and regulations to get adopted . To conclude, the ageing population is a big problem for developing countries nowadays, migrating to other countries with the help of the

government

would be more preferable rather than getting stagnant in one country.

However

, authorities should make the emigration process easier for their

people

Submitted by thilaga.pt88 on Sun Dec 05 2021

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

237 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that it would be better for larger companies and industry to move to regional areas outside large urban centers. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Having a good university degree guarantees people a good job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some think that governments should support retired people financially while others believe they should take care of themselves. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many people are optimistic of the 21st century and see it as an opportunity to make positive changes to the world. To what extent do you share their optimism? What changes would you like to see in the new century?

Why do some people who leave school early are more successful compared with those who complete their studies. Reasons why they are more successful and what is required to be successful?