Some people think that schools should reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many people think that
students
Use synonyms
who show the best performance should be
rawaded
Correct your spelling
rewarded
awarded
while some of them believe it is better to provide
Use synonyms
prize
Add an article
a prize
the prize
show examples
for
students
Use synonyms
who
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
eager beaver. Both views will be discussed in the
next
Linking Words
following paragraphs.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, smart
students
Use synonyms
should be rewarded because of their good academic
performace
Correct your spelling
performance
.Since it appears many young learners, the reward is the essential motivation for studying and trying hard at school. If the
prize
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
provided for them, the number of smart young people will be increased significantly since they want to get admired
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
other people
also
Linking Words
their family by their intelligence.
This
Linking Words
is why the
prize
Use synonyms
should be given to the best academic performers.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the most
improvement
Replace the word
improved
show examples
students
Use synonyms
should
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
academic
certificate
Fix the agreement mistake
certificates
show examples
as well.
Although
Linking Words
they do not get
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
grade, the
students
Use synonyms
who
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
enthusiastic should be
rewareded
Correct your spelling
rewarded
because of their afford. Adults are
neccessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
to inform children that they are fallible as long as they try their best.
This
Linking Words
is the reason why schools should be given rewards to enthusiastic young learners. In my opinion,I agree with the idea of
given
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
prizes and rewards to the enhancement
students
Use synonyms
. Because of their hard work, the
students
Use synonyms
should receive
Add an article
a certificate
show examples
certificate
Fix the agreement mistake
certificates
show examples
to motivate them in studying and to be an eager
beaver
Fix the agreement mistake
beavers
show examples
all the time. In conclusion,
school
Add an article
the school
a school
show examples
should give the certificate to best academic studying performer.
However
Linking Words
, I believe it is better to provide the
prize
Use synonyms
for the enthusiastic
students
Use synonyms
by their hard work and strive.
Submitted by veeranveeree on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: