IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The pie charts below give date on the spending and consumption of resources by countries of the world and how the population is distributed.

The pie charts below give date on the spending and consumption of resources by countries of the world and how the population is distributed.
#date #consumption #resources #countries #world #population
The pie charts illustrate
given
Correct article usage
the given
show examples
recources
Correct your spelling
resources
 by different countries from Asia,
Europe
, America and Africa. how people from that
areas
Fix the agreement mistake
area
show examples
liveed
Correct your spelling
lived
.
Overall
, in Asia
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
world
Change noun form
world's
show examples
population
 has the highest proportion than others,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 USA and
Europe
 countries gather more percentage from Consumption of Resources,
Furthermore
 in
World
 spending all types
Correct your spelling
divide
Add a missing verb
are devide
show examples
devide
Correct your spelling
divided
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
proportionaly
Correct your spelling
proportionally
proportionately
proportional
 In the first plan, clothing
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 the lowest proportion
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 spendings and
others
Correct pronoun usage
other
show examples
 resources collect
40
Change preposition
at 40
show examples
% which is the highest in the
second
 plan, Asia is
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
far from
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
world
population
 categories.
Europe
 and America have
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 similar
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
, there
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
other
population
 has the lowest proportion of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 from all over the
world
.
Finally
, in the
third
 plan, compare
resourse
Correct your spelling
resource
 consumption where USA and
Europe
 are the highest number with 60% and other countries which collect 40% is the lowest.
Submitted by ronadeclaro on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words europe, world, population with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: