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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The pie charts below give date on the spending and consumption of resources by countries of the world and how the population is distributed.

The pie charts below give date on the spending and consumption of resources by countries of the world and how the population is distributed.
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The pie charts illustrate
given
Correct article usage
the given
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recources
Correct your spelling
resources
 by different countries from Asia,
Europe
Use synonyms
, America and Africa. how people from that
areas
Fix the agreement mistake
area
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liveed
Correct your spelling
lived
.
Overall
Linking Words
, in Asia
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the world
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world
Change noun form
world's
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population
Use synonyms
 has the highest proportion than others,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
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 USA and
Europe
Use synonyms
 countries gather more percentage from Consumption of Resources,
Furthermore
Linking Words
 in
World
Use synonyms
 spending all types
Correct your spelling
divide
Add a missing verb
are devide
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devide
Correct your spelling
divided
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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proportionaly
Correct your spelling
proportionally
proportionately
proportional
 In the first plan, clothing
have
Change the verb form
has
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 the lowest proportion
from
Change preposition
of
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 spendings and
others
Correct pronoun usage
other
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 resources collect
40
Change preposition
at 40
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% which is the highest in the
second
Linking Words
 plan, Asia is
by
Change preposition
apply
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far from
other
Correct article usage
the other
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world
Use synonyms
population
Use synonyms
 categories.
Europe
Use synonyms
 and America have
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 similar
percent
Replace the word
percentage
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, there
by
Change preposition
apply
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other
population
Use synonyms
 has the lowest proportion of
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
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 from all over the
world
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, in the
third
Linking Words
 plan, compare
resourse
Correct your spelling
resource
 consumption where USA and
Europe
Use synonyms
 are the highest number with 60% and other countries which collect 40% is the lowest.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words europe, world, population with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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