It is more important for a building to serve its purposes than to look beautiful. Architects do not need to worry about whether it is a real work of art. Do you agree or disagree?
It is not uncommon to see nowadays that young
people
are not only richer , but also
more and more other factors
are also
affecting people
such
as safer ,healthier and less happy . This
is especially noticeable in young people
are
not only richer Correct pronoun usage
who are
with
Change preposition
in
the
society ,which has Correct article usage
apply
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
remarkable
changed the Change the word
remarkably
humans
Change to a genitive case
human's
humans'
life
There fore
,Correct your spelling
Therefore
this essay will
Add the word(s)
but this essay will also
analysis
possible reasons giving rise to Replace the word
analyse
this
case objectively and figure out some effective ways to solve this
urgent issue from my point of view ,the cause of this
situation are diverse To begin
people
are less happy ,
because the work pressure is too much caused is one of the key Remove the comma
apply
factors
this
largely due to
the fact that young people
have a pressure a good case to support this
situation is for example
,in the family ,couples will work together to solve life
problems ,including education children ,in the Childs
growth process ,there will inevitably be quarrels .which has become the key factor why a large Change to a genitive case
Child's
people
have a less happy. Another cause is peoples
lives get better and better costs increase and in many ways ,Change noun form
people's
consumptions
is important ,but transitional consumption can Fix the agreement mistake
consumption
also
make people
unhappy it is widely accepted that transitional consumption will make people
unhappy ,I suggest that in life
can be rational consumption ,saving a good habit . unquestionable ,there are several factors
to the issue of less
happy . To deal with Add a missing verb
being less
this
hard nut ,some effective and useful methods should be taken without any delay . To be specific ,the governments have no choice but to apply healthy books Correct pronoun usage
that can
can
help Correct pronoun usage
that can
people
grow up healthy ,in life
,some negative energy will affect people
,it is terrible ,not only Wrong verb form
affecting
affect
the work and learning inefficiencies, but Wrong verb form
affecting
also
Wrong verb form
affecting
affect
the mentality ,so I think ,green guidance is a good choice An the same time ,young Wrong verb form
affecting
people
have to put more focus on communication with the friends so that the issue of exchange healthy message can be solved in a quicker wayAdd the comma(s)
,
To sum up
, there are several factors
leading to the problem of why young people
lead to less happy of not only richer life
.however
,this
problem can be solve
by proper ways In a word ,only in Change the verb form
be solved
this
way can this
problem be effectively solved ,and people
can have a better future.Submitted by 59213142 on
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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion