Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #aim #university #education #graduates #jobs #individuals #society

Education

plays a pivotal role in every person

life

Although

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

it is sometimes thought higher

education

is necessary to get better jobs, others believe that it has more advantages for

individulas

Correct your spelling

individuals

as well as

society

. In my opinion, I considered that

univeristy

Correct your spelling

university

education

gives

postive

Correct your spelling

positive

impact in personal

life

and for

society

. There are several reasons why

society

has more benefits if they have more educated

people

. The

first

and foremost important thing is that there is less crime. Educated

people

do not want to go into any difficulty or trouble, so they never think about murder or

steal

Wrong verb form

stealing

show examples

In addition

people

can get name and fame after graduation

particular

Add an article

a particular

the particular

show examples

field and it is a proud moment for their country.

Hence

, a good

eduaction

Correct your spelling

education

is responsible to get

better

Add an article

a better

show examples

society

. Another point to consider is that university study help personally means

people

can teach many more things to their children from their educated

life

For example

, a family with

eduacted

Correct your spelling

educated

people

live with modern

life

rathe

Correct your spelling

rather

show examples

then

follow some orthodox view.

Furthermore

, it

also

provides well-being to

people

Therefore

eduaction

Correct your spelling

education

is essential for

peronal

Correct your spelling

personal

life

On the other hand

, some

people

have

opposite

Add an article

an opposite

the opposite

show examples

view that tertiary

education

is important for professional

life

People

get good jobs easily and earn good money.

For instance

, one survey has conducted in the UK,

people

who have a status level job they

are belonged

Change to the active voice

belong

have belonged

show examples

to higher

education

Thus

, getting a good job

people

should get

university

Add an article

a university

show examples

education

. In conclusion, higher

eduaction

Correct your spelling

education

study

definitely

Add a missing verb

is definitely

show examples

helpful to obtain

high

Correct article usage

a high

show examples

profession

Replace the word

professional

show examples

job, but the importance in individual

life

and

society

should not neglect.

Submitted by patelpayal8296 on Thu Dec 09 2021

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for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

268 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that develop the mind, such as reading and doing crossword puzzles. Others feel that it is important to give one's mind a rest in leisure time. Discuss

Should education and healthcare be free of charge and funded by the government, or should it be the responsibility of the people to pay for these services? Discuss the above and give your opinion using examples.

As global trade increase, many goods including those we use in daily basis are produced in another country and have to be transport long distance.

It was predicted that people living in the twenty-first century would have more free time than ever before because of improvements in technology. To what extent has this prediction come true?

Some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in.