Establishing good relationship in the workplace is not important, as the primary goal of person is to focus on work. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#relationship #workplace #person #focus #work

Some

people

believe that it is not necessary to create

good

Add an article

a good

show examples

bond in the

workplace

because the main aim of any employee is to concentrate on

work

. I strongly disagree with

this

notion as I think at any

workplace

friendly atmosphere is must

needed

Change the verb form

need

be needed

show examples

for

growth

Add an article

the growth

show examples

of any

company

or organisation, which I will explain in

this

further

essay.

First

and foremost,

good

Add an article

a good

show examples

relationship

workplace

Correct article usage

the workplace

show examples

hepls

Correct your spelling

helps

people

work

together with great joy and happiness and it will

directly

Add a missing verb

be directly

show examples

Correct your spelling

helpful

helpfull

Add a missing verb

be helpfull

show examples

for any organisation to grow big. For any

company

, if employees

are

Change the verb form

are working

show examples

work

together in a friendly way

then

at any time someone face any issue

then

it will resolve immediately. To cite an example, according to one

servey

Correct your spelling

survey

of Times of India, most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the IT

company

Fix the agreement mistake

companies

show examples

grow big just because of their friendly

work

environment.

Furthermore

to have

Change the verb form

having

show examples

a good

relationship

directly affect the

team-

Correct your spelling

teamwork

show examples

work

. In any

workplace

Add a comma

,workplace

show examples

people

cannot establish a good

relationship

with their

colleage

Correct your spelling

colleagues

colleague

college

then

they

definately

Correct your spelling

definitely

cannot

work

effectivelly

Correct your spelling

effectively

team

Add an article

the team

a team

show examples

and it will cause with some big issues. To exemplify,

company

Add an article

a company

the company

show examples

called "Deros" failed just because its employees never worked together and that's why it was hard for it to

servive

Correct your spelling

survive

service

However

, it

Change the verb form

is also required

show examples

also

require to focus on

work

but one can easily focus on that

also

with making good

relationship

with their

colleages

Correct your spelling

colleagues

because it does not require

a lots

Correct the article-noun agreement

a lot

lots

show examples

of time and efforts to make good bond with fellow

people

. In conclusion, at any

workplace

to have

better

Add an article

a better

the better

show examples

relationship

is required for great achievements and a person should not just focus on only

work

Submitted by dhruvdesai222 on Fri Dec 10 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

266 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
TOPIC – Some think that residents should responsible for keeping thier areas clean and tidy, while others say it is the government’s responsibility. Discuss both views and state your own opinion.
Tidiness is the imperative aspect for people lives. When it comes to maintain the place clean and tidy, there are various opinions on the matter. It is important to explore both side of the argument to gain a comprehensive understanding. In this essay both sides of the topic will be discussed followed by my opinion.
5.5
band
Plan A below shows a health centre in 2005. Plan B shows the same place in the present day. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
A glance at the figures provided reveals structural and functional modifications that occurred in a health centre. While the first graph illustrates the health centre's plan in 2005, the second one depicts its current plan.
5.5
band
News media is important in our society. Why is it so important? Do you think its influence is generally positive or negative?
With the advances in communication, the distribution of information is significantly faster and globalized. Many people, all around the world, rely and believe everything they read, hear or watch on news media. In this essay, I will explain the importance of this and why I believe it is mostly changing negatively how we behave.
4
band
It is generally accepted that families are not as close as they used to be Give some reason why this change has happened and suggest how families could be brought together Include any relevant example from your experience
The world nowadays is no comparison to the past. It is often thought that many family members are not connected to each other on an emotional or family basis, as it used to be in the past. With the advent of the 21st century, the involvement of technology in human life is constantly rising. In this , essay I will discuss the reason for this change and provide a helpful solution in order to overcome this dilemma.
4
band
Junk food advertising has a harmful effect on society and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Over the past decades, quick convenient food, often called fast or junk food, has become readily available, leading to serious problems including obesity, heart disease and high blood pressure. Many people hold the view that it is the advertising of this food that is responsible for these issues, and therefore ought to stopped. While I do not support a complete ban on this form of marketing, I do feel that stricter regulations and greater transparency are needed. Although an outright ban on fast food promotion may seem appealing, it would not be a sensible move. For starters, companies would suffer huge financial losses if they were unable to promote their products. Magnum Ice Creams, for instance, runs TV and billboard campaigns when they launch a new product, and if they were prevented from doing so, far fewer consumers would even know the new treat existed. This would inevitably lead to a reduction in revenue, possibly a fall in the company’s stock prices, retrenchments...

Establishing good relationship in the workplace is not important, as the primary goal of person is to focus on work. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

TOPIC – Some think that residents should responsible for keeping thier areas clean and tidy, while others say it is the government’s responsibility. Discuss both views and state your own opinion.

Plan A below shows a health centre in 2005. Plan B shows the same place in the present day. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

News media is important in our society. Why is it so important? Do you think its influence is generally positive or negative?

It is generally accepted that families are not as close as they used to be Give some reason why this change has happened and suggest how families could be brought together Include any relevant example from your experience

Junk food advertising has a harmful effect on society and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?