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Band 4.5

Establishing good relationship in the workplace is not important, as the primary goal of person is to focus on work. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#relationship #workplace #person #focus #work
Some
people
 believe that it is not necessary to create
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 bond in the
workplace
 because the main aim of any employee is to concentrate on
work
. I strongly disagree with
this
 notion as I think at any
workplace
 friendly atmosphere is must
needed
Change the verb form
need
be needed
show examples
 for
growth
Add an article
the growth
show examples
 of any
company
 or organisation, which I will explain in
this
further
 essay.
First
 and foremost,
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
relationship
 at
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
show examples
hepls
Correct your spelling
helps
people
 to
work
 together with great joy and happiness and it will
directly
Add a missing verb
be directly
show examples
Correct your spelling
helpful
helpfull
Add a missing verb
be helpfull
show examples
 for any organisation to grow big. For any
company
, if employees
are
Change the verb form
are working
show examples
work
 together in a friendly way
then
 at any time someone face any issue
then
 it will resolve immediately. To cite an example, according to one
servey
Correct your spelling
survey
 of Times of India, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the IT
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
 grow big just because of their friendly
work
 environment.
Furthermore
,
to have
Change the verb form
having
show examples
 a good
relationship
 directly affect the
team-
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
work
. In any
workplace
Add a comma
,workplace
show examples
 if
people
 cannot establish a good
relationship
 with their
colleage
Correct your spelling
colleagues
colleague
college
then
 they
definately
Correct your spelling
definitely
 cannot
work
effectivelly
Correct your spelling
effectively
 in
team
Add an article
the team
a team
show examples
 and it will cause with some big issues. To exemplify,
company
Add an article
a company
the company
show examples
 called "Deros" failed just because its employees never worked together and that's why it was hard for it to
servive
Correct your spelling
survive
service
.
However
, it
is
Change the verb form
is also required
show examples
also
 require to focus on
work
 but one can easily focus on that
also
 with making good
relationship
 with their
colleages
Correct your spelling
colleagues
 because it does not require
a lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
show examples
 of time and efforts to make good bond with fellow
people
. In conclusion, at any
workplace
 to have
better
Add an article
a better
the better
show examples
relationship
 is required for great achievements and a person should not just focus on only
work
.
Submitted by dhruvdesai222 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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