In some places, teenagers are encouraged to get part-time jobs while they are still in school. Do the advantages of teens working outweigh the disadvantages?

It is obvious that practising insolated work during schooling is very commonly seen in many developing countries.
although
this
part-time work
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
mandatory for teenagers,sometimes they are involved in gaining experience.
However
, in some parts of the world during
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
period boys are promoted to get unfixed
jobs
.I completely believe that part-time
jobs
would not promote in the time of
school
. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
will examine both sides of the problems To commence with,there are some benefits of part-time
jobs
while youth
students
pursue their
education
.
Moreover
,gathering real experience make them more capable to compete with others.
hence
,without
real
Correct article usage
a real
show examples
tend of learning general
education
could be meaningless.
For example
,In many
part
Change to a plural noun
parts
show examples
of rich countries young children involves with different training programs with a view to gaining realistic grounding
besides
this
they earn some pocket money for their substance.
As a result
,after compleating graduation their completely prepare to take charge of big duty from various multinational companies those who trained up in the time of
school
days.
On the other hand
,doing unfixed works cover with
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
show examples
metal pressure in the course of schooling which is not good sing for carrying on the study.
although
in the developing countries many
school
levels
students
force to work in the middle of the study,its take place only their destitution.
For instance
,in
Bangladesh
Add a comma
,Bangladesh
show examples
many
students
drops
Change the verb form
drop
show examples
out in the middle of
school
education
but others try to fix it
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
working part-time job even though,
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
hard to find part-time
jobs
before finishing schooling in Bangladesh.
Therefore
,
Students
gets mental stress which forces them to stop their studies. To conclude,
education
is equally important for all.
However
, It is not good to promote part-time
jobs
during schooling for all teenagers because sometimes
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
leads to dropping their
education
. only those who are interested to take grund learning can involve in working part-time.
Submitted by noyon.cyv on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: