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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Today, the high sales of popular goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real need of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#sales #goods #power #society
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Indeed,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
Use synonyms
 make purchasing decisions by advertisement in the modern world. Personally, I strongly agree with
such
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 a statement.
First
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, high tech companies develop new products with the latest technology which provides new features to its customers
besides
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 they prepared the new poster in order to get huge orders from clients. As I remember that population lived and worked without smart devices just 2 decades ago. At the moment, society waiting and ordering for a new version of Apple or Samsung phones because of its solid announcement.
For example
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: One of my best friends just bought
new
Correct article usage
a new
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an
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iPhone recently. He says that he watched a lot of improvements on the internet so that he decided to purchase a new one. From
this
Linking Words
 point, we can say that brand company trying to affect customers habits in order to sell their products to them.
Secondly
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, some brand companies use celebrity stars for their new items or goods in order to expand their business globally. At the same
time
Add a comma
,time
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 public made decisions based on what they
say
Wrong verb form
said
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 about these new items. Clearly,
people
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 buy something not related to the needy, they just imitate each other and believe nice ads. Why are that
people
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 watching and believing these ads because brand companies pay much money on its idea and entire
delivering
Replace the word
delivery
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 processes
.
Change the punctuation
?
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Furthermore
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, there are some online shops trying to use the troll function of the Facebook company while
people
Use synonyms
 watching his or her Facebook. These actions altered customers buying habits whether they do not think it is mandatory or not. To summarize, I strongly believe that advertisement is more crucial than
people
Use synonyms
 needy.
Submitted by tsembeek on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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