IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Some people feel that governments should take a large proportion of people' salaries to pay for public services such as roads and schools. Other thinks high taxes are bad. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #governments #proportion #salaries #services #roads #schools #taxes
Given are two pie charts comparing the percentage of
income
 a university spent on different categories in 2005 and 2015. In summary,
both
 years spend most of their incomes
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 teaching and research.
Moreover
, there are two areas with
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 in the proportion of
income
 spent while three categories decrease in percentage. Looking at the part that decline in percentage, teaching and research reduces from 53% to 48%, but it
is still account
Change the verb form
still accounts
show examples
 for the majority
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
income
 spent in
both
 2005 and 2015.
Both
 libraries and accommodation drop by half, libraries spend the least in 2015 with only 5%, while accommodation decreases from 16% to 8% .
On the contrary
, financial support for students ascends from 5% to 8%. Administration and management rises by 10% to 16%, which is the
second
 large category of
income
 spent in 2015.
Furthermore
, maintaining campuses remains the same with 10% in
both
 years.
Submitted by chloelwy3905 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: