IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some countries, people spend long hours at work. Why does this happen? Is it positive or negative development?

#countries #people #hours #work #happen #development
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Day by day, there are more and more individuals who
work
Use synonyms
 hard for long hours in most of the nations. Surely, they do these things for several different reasons.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss “the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 working overtime of people” and “the advantages or disadvantages of spending extra working hours. I think that it comes from the
constantly
Change the adverb
constant
show examples
 development of our society, so the citizens have to become suitable and get progress. Particularly, I am afraid of it have both benefits and drawbacks.
Firstly
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, many residents
work
Use synonyms
 hard and spend most of
the
Change the word
their
show examples
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their jobs because they want to satisfice their ambition,
fulfill
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fulfil
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 their dream
for
Change preposition
of
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 having a better life with the rest of
members
Correct article usage
the members
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in
Change preposition
of
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 their family.
Secondly
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, they
actually
Add a missing verb
are actually
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 devoted to their jobs, make
a contributions
Correct the article-noun agreement
a contribution
contributions
show examples
 to the community. In
addiction
Correct your spelling
addition
show examples
, they have to prove their strength and get
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 fairest evaluation from everyone.
For example
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, my uncle is a person who is dedicated to his
work
Use synonyms
, he loves his job very much and always spends most of his time completing his
work
Use synonyms
 as perfectly as possible. As you know, everything has its two sides and it is not apart from spending extra working hours. Totally, the biggest disadvantage is that the person who works hard for long times will have less memorable moments with their family and get some health problems like stress, high blood pressure and
exhauting
Correct your spelling
exhausting
exhaustion
.
However
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, it would be remiss if not to mention the benefits it brings
such
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 as they will feel more satisfied, have a
possitive
Correct your spelling
positive
 life attitude, get achievements and have a better life. To sum up, the most important things
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • prevalent
  • economic pressures
  • financial stability
  • competitive job markets
  • corporate cultures
  • stigma
  • demonstrate dedication
  • advent of technology
  • blurred the lines
  • accelerated career progression
  • dedicated employee
  • significant negative implications
  • stress levels
  • mental health
  • physical health
  • social and family time
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • flexible working hours
  • work-life balance
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