The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of tree types of tutrients, which may be unhealthy if eaten too much.

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of tree types of tutrients, which may be unhealthy if eaten too much.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given pie charts illustrate the
amount
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of three different nutrients including sodium, saturated fats and added sugars in percentage in the USA.
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, a glance at the charts reveals that the most significant sector in
two
Correct article usage
the two

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
charts is related to
dinner
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and it is obvious that the
amount
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of added sugar in snacks is by far more than other additives. In the first
chart
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, the
dinner
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

sector compromised
the
Correct article usage
an

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
average of 43%, which is the highest
amount
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Snack
Fix the agreement mistake
Snacks

It seems that Snack may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
and breakfast represent the same
amount
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of sodium consumption (14%), and for lunch, the average number is 29%. In the
second
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

chart
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, which shows the saturated fat added to
American’s
Change noun form
American

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

show examples
meals like the previous
chart
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
dinner
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

contains the highest
amount
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

(37%).
Likewise
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
the
Change preposition
in the

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
first
chart
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, breakfast ,and
snack
Fix the agreement mistake
snacks

It seems that snack may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
provide less fat respectively 16 and 21 per cent.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, lunch shows a lower
amount
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of fat just more than a quarter, compared to sodium. The
third
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

chart
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

shows the sugar contribution in snacks is significant and nearly twice as the
dinner
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

sector. Lunch and breakfast made up 19 and 16 per cent of added sugar, respectively.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words amount, dinner, chart with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 8 times.
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 6 times.
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • nutrients
  • balanced diet
  • overconsumption
  • health risks
  • cultural dietary patterns
  • processed foods
  • portion control
  • government regulations
  • nutrition education
  • informed choices
  • saturated fats
  • trans fats
  • carbohydrates
  • sodium intake
  • public health
  • nutrition labels
  • dietary guidelines
  • caloric content
  • food groups
  • obesity
  • cardiovascular diseases
  • diabetes
What to do next:
Look at other essays: