In many countries around the world young people decide to leave their parents home once they finish school. They start living on their own or share a home with friends. Some people think it is a positive thing. Do you agree or disagree?

#countries #world #people #parents #home #school #friends

Over the

last

two or three decades, the youngsters have been living separately after finishing

school

tremendously than ever before due to they would like to live in an autonomous way.

However

, some think that

this

is a positive aspect; I strongly agree with

this

statement

amd

Correct your spelling

and

this

essay discusses

Correct your spelling

show examples

briefly for the following reasons.

To begin

with, because young people have to leave theirs' home when they are completing

school

, they would be independently rather than staying with

parents

as a result

, they can be

learnt

Wrong verb form

learn

show examples

many things from theirs' own experience.

For instance

, in America, all youngsters stay separately or with friends when they are finishing

school

;

this

country

encourage

Change the verb form

encourages

show examples

this

kind of good thing in order to they are being

independently

Replace the adverb

independent

show examples

than any parts of

teh

Correct your spelling

the

world.

In addition

this

is the best chance to understand about the

real life

Add a hyphen

real-life

show examples

situation and how to handle the difficult situation, everything will learn with theirs' own experience.

Hence

this

is a positive aspect for

parents

as well as children.

Furthermore

, young adults can be known about the value of money when they are living alone or sharing with friends.

This

time they should be worked

for

Change preposition

show examples

manage theirs' all expenses like

accomadation

Correct your spelling

accommodation

, food and other personal expenses

whle

Correct your spelling

while

they must be known about their

parents

' struggle and

hardwork

Correct your spelling

hard work

For instance

, a recent report from a

third

party said that more than 75% of the

americans'

Correct your spelling

American

Americans

adult

Fix the agreement mistake

adults

show examples

extremly

Correct your spelling

extremely

close and

love

Change preposition

in love

show examples

with theirs'

parents

when they are being alone or staying with friends,

as a result

, family bonding might be very closed for

this

best idea. To conclude, many nations adults like to move to theirs' own house after they are completing

school

this

can give more benefits to the mothers and fathers along with young folks. Being self-sufficient, learning about

Add a hyphen

real-life

show examples

real

Add an article

a real

show examples

life situation, knowing

value

Correct article usage

the value

show examples

of the money and connecting family bonding is the benefits of

this

trend.

Therefore

, I strongly agree with

this

opinion in the above-mentioned details. I hope

this

process is conducive to living happily who are the young folks.

Submitted by reanudeepan on Sun Dec 19 2021

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

346 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries around the world young people decide to leave their parents home once they finish school. They start living on their own or share a home with friends. Some people think it is a positive thing. Do you agree or disagree?

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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?