Nowadays it is possible to move ocean creatures from their natural habitat at sea and have them placed in amusement parks for the purpose of people’s recreation. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#move #ocean #creatures #habitat #sea #amusement #parks #purpose #people’s #recreation #outweigh

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Today many amusement parks have

sea

Use synonyms

animals for people's leisure

purpose

Fix the agreement mistake

purposes

show examples

;

eventhough

Correct your spelling

even though

the population

also

Linking Words

likes to see them tremendously, it's

affect

Wrong verb form

affected

show examples

negatively.

This

Linking Words

trend has more drawbacks than benefits for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sea

Use synonyms

creatures.

This

Linking Words

essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons. On the one hand, the

sea

Use synonyms

creatures should be affected adversely when they are being

enclosure

Replace the word

enclosed

show examples

small

Correct article usage

a small

show examples

tank

Fix the agreement mistake

tanks

show examples

; they have all rights to live

indepentent

Correct your spelling

independent

independently

but the population keeps in

very

Add an article

the very

a very

show examples

tiny water

tank

Fix the agreement mistake

tanks

show examples

As a result

Linking Words

, they become more aggressive and depressive

such

Linking Words

as the Big mammals.

For instance

Linking Words

, these kinds of

ocean

Use synonyms

animals only eat properly when the shows are conducted.

In addition

Linking Words

Although

Linking Words

the

staffs

Fix the agreement mistake

staff

show examples

take care properly, they still now being in

small

Add an article

the small

show examples

water tank; they should be lived in theirs' natural place

such

Linking Words

as the

ocean

Use synonyms

Hence

Linking Words

, should be replaced.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, these kinds of amusement

park

Fix the agreement mistake

parks

show examples

have a variety of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

ocean

Use synonyms

creature in one place;

this

Linking Words

is the best chance

Change preposition

for to

show examples

people can be seen very closely. Because the park's staff can take care properly, parks can collect entrance fees from visitors.

For instance

Linking Words

, India has many aquariums in cities for the tourists-purpose,

thus

Linking Words

, many folks have a chance to see very closely

Change preposition

apply

show examples

different kinds of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

big mammals namely

Whale

Fix the agreement mistake

whales

show examples

and etc. To conclude, people have many entertainments

instead

Linking Words

of seeing the

ocean

Use synonyms

creatures in amusement; they have all right to live in their's natural place like the

sea

Use synonyms

so should be replaced.

Therefore

Linking Words

, they can live freely and independently. In my opinion, about

this

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

trend has many drawbacks than benefits.

Submitted by reanudeepan on Sun Dec 19 2021

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

267 words

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Nowadays it is possible to move ocean creatures from their natural habitat at sea and have them placed in amusement parks for the purpose of people’s recreation. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Many schools today require students to work without pay for companies as part of their education. Is this more advantageous to students or companies?

It is said that travel broadens the mind. What can we learn by travelling to other countries? Should we first explore our own countries? What do you think?

The increase in crime rate in cities is a major concern for governments. Discuss the causes of this increase and

The world is consuming natural resources faster than they can be renewed. Therefore, it is important that products are made to last. Governments should discourage people from constantly buying more up to date or fashionable products. To what extent do you agree with this statement?